_Timorous_ and _Dullman_ take their Places on a long Bench placed behind the Table, to them _Whimsey_ and _Whiff_, they seat themselves, then _Boozer_ and two or three more; who seat themselves: Then enter two, bearing a Bowl of Punch and a great Ladle or two in it; the rest of the Stage being fill’d with People. _Whiff._ Brothers, it hath often been mov’d at the Bench, that a new Punch-Bowl shou’d be provided, and one of a larger Circumference; when the Bench sits late about weighty Affairs, oftentimes the Bowl is emptied before we end. _Whim._ A good Motion; Clerk, set it down. _Clerk._ Mr. Justice _Boozer_, the Council has order’d you a Writ of Ease, and dismiss your Worship from the Bench. _Booz._ Me from the Bench, for what? _Whim._ The Complaint is, Brother _Boozer_, for drinking too much Punch in the time of hearing Tryals. _Whiff._ And that you can neither write nor read, nor say the Lord’s Prayer. _Tim._ That your Warrants are like a Brewer’s Tally, a Notch on a Stick; if a special Warrant, then a couple. Gods zoors, when his Excellency comes he will have no such Justices. _Booz._ Why, Brother, though I can’t read my self, I have had _Dalton’s_ Country-Justice read over to me two or three times, and understand the Law. This is your Malice, Brother _Whiff_, because my Wife does not come to your Warehouse to buy her Commodities,--but no matter, to show I have no Malice in my Heart, I drink your Health.--I care not this, I can turn Lawyer, and plead at the Board. [Drinks, all pledge him, and hum. _Dull._ Mr. Clerk, come to the Tryals on the Dockett. [_Clerk_ reads. _Cler._ The first is between his Worship Justice _Whiff_ and one _Grubb_. _Dull._ Ay, that _Grubb’s_ a common Disturber, Brother, your Cause is a good Cause if well manag’d, here’s to’t. [Drinks. _Whiff._ I thank you, Brother _Dullman_--read my Petition. [Drinks. _Cler._ The Petition of Captain _Thomas Whiff_, sheweth, That whereas _Gilbert Grubb_ calls his Worship’s Wife _Ann Whiff_ Whore, and said he would prove it; your Petitioner desires the Worshipful Bench to take it into Consideration, and your Petitioner shall ever pray, _&c._-- Here’s two Witnesses have made Affidavit _viva voce_, an’t like your Worships. _Dull._ Call _Grubb_. _Cler._ _Gilbert Grubb_, come into the Court. _Grub._ Here. _Whim._ Well, what can you say for your self, Mr. _Grubb_. _Grub._ Why, an’t like your Worship, my Wife invited some Neighbours Wives to drink a Cagg of Syder; now your Worship’s Wife, Madam _Whiff_, being there fuddled, would have thrust me out of doors, and bid me go to my old Whore Madam _Whimsey_, meaning your Worship’s Wife. [To _Whimsey_. _Whim._ Hah! My Wife called Whore, she’s a Jade, and I’ll arrest her Husband here--in an Action of Debts. _Tim._ Gad zoors, she’s no better than she should be, I’ll warrant her.