_Whiff._ Look ye, Brother _Whimsey_, be patient; you know the humour of my _Nancy_, when she’s drunk; but when she’s sober, she’s a civil Person, and shall ask your pardon. _Whim._ Let this be done, and I am satisfied. And so here’s to you. [Drinks. _Dull._ Go on to the Trial. _Grub._ I being very angry, said indeed, I would prove her a greater Whore than Madam _Whimsey_. _Cler._ An’t like your Worships, he confesses the Words in open Court. _Grub._ Why, an’t like your Worships, she has had two Bastards, I’ll prove it. _Whiff._ Sirrah, Sirrah, that was when she was a Maid, not since I marry’d her; my marrying her made her honest. _Dull._ Let there be an order of Court to sue him for _Scandalum magnatum_. _Tim._ Mr. Clerk, let my Cause come next. _Cler._ The Defendant’s ready, Sir. [_Hazard_ comes to the Board. _Tim._ Brothers of the Bench, take notice, that this Hector here coming into Mrs. _Flirt’s_ Ordinary, where I was with my Brother _Dullman_ and Lieutenant _Boozer_; we gave him good Counsel to fall to work: Now my Gentleman here was affronted at this, forsooth, and makes no more to do but calls us Scoundrels, and drew his Sword on us; and had I not defended my self by running away, he had murdered me, and assassinated my two Brothers. _Whiff._ What Witness have you, Brother? _Tim._ Here’s Mrs. _Flirt_ and her Maid _Nell_,--besides, we may be Witness for one another, I hope, our Words may be taken. _Cler._ Mrs. _Flirt_ and _Nell_ are sworn. [They stand forth. _Whim._ By the Oaths that you have taken, speak nothing but the truth. _Flirt._ An’t please your Worships, your Honours came to my House, where you found this young Gentleman: and your Honours invited him to drink with your Honours; Where after some opprobrious Words given him, Justice _Dullman_, and Justice _Boozer_ struck him over the Head; and after that indeed the Gentleman drew. _Tim._ Mark that, Brother, he drew. _Haz._ If I did, it was _se defendendo_. _Tim._ Do you hear that, Brothers, he did it in defiance. _Haz._ Sir, you ought not to sit Judge and Accuser too. _Whiff._ The Gentleman’s i’th’ right, Brother, you cannot do’t according to Law. _Tim._ Gads zoors, what new tricks, new querks? _Haz._ Gentlemen, take notice, he swears in Court. _Tim._ Gads zoors, what’s that to you, Sir? _Haz._ This is the second time of his swearing. _Whim._ What, do you think we are deaf, Sir? Come, come, proceed. _Tim._ I desire he may be bound to his Good Behaviour, fin’d, and deliver up his Sword, what say you, Brother? [Jogs _Dull._ who nods. _Whim._ He’s asleep, drink to him and waken him,-- you have miss’d the Cause by sleeping, Brother. [Drinks. _Dull._ Justice may nod, but never sleeps, Brother-- you were at--Deliver his Sword--a good Motion, let it be done. [Drinks. _Haz._ No, Gentlemen, I wear a Sword to right my self. _Tim._ That’s fine, i’faith, Gads zoors, I’ve worn a Sword this dozen Year, and never cou’d right my self.