Now we’re alone (said Sir _Philip_) let me assure you, Sir, I resent
this Affront done to you by Mr. _Goodland_, almost as highly as you can:
and tho’ I can’t wish that you should take such Satisfaction, as perhaps
some other hotter Sparks would; yet let me say, his Miscarriage ought
not to go unpunish’d in him. Fear not (reply’d t’other) I shall give him
a sharp Lesson. No, Sir (return’d _Friendly_) I would not have you think
of a bloody Revenge; for ’tis that which possibly he designs on you:
I know him brave as any Man. However, were it convenient that the Sword
should determine betwixt you, you should not want mine: The Affront is
partly to me, since done in my House; but I’ve already laid down safer
Measures for us, tho’ of more fatal Consequence to him: that is, I’ve
form’d them in my Thoughts. Dismiss your Coach and Equipage, all but one
Servant, and I will discourse it to you at large. ’Tis now past Twelve;
and if you please, I would invite you to take up as easy a Lodging here,
as my House will afford. (Accordingly they were dismiss’d, and he
proceeded:)--As I hinted to you before, he is in love with my youngest
Niece, _Philibella_; but her Fortune not exceeding five hundred Pound,
his Father will assuredly disinherit him, if he marries her: tho’ he has
given his Consent that he should marry her eldest Sister, whose Father
dying ere he knew his Wife was with child of the youngest, left _Lucy_
three thousand Pounds, being as much as he thought convenient to match
her handsomly; and accordingly the Nuptials of young _Goodland_ and
_Lucy_ are to be celebrated next _Easter_. They shall not, if I can
hinder them (interrupted his offended Majesty.) Never endeavour the
Obstruction (said the Knight) for I’ll shew you the Way to a dearer
Vengeance: Women are Women, your Majesty knows; she may be won to your
Embraces before that time, and then you antedate him your Creature.
A Cuckold, you mean (cry’d King in Fancy:) O exquisite Revenge! but can
you consent that I should attempt it? What is’t to me? We live not in
_Spain_, where all the Relations of the Family are oblig’d to vindicate
a Whore: No, I would wound him in his most tender Part. But how shall we
compass it? (ask’d t’other.) Why thus, throw away three thousand Pounds
on the youngest Sister, as a Portion, to make her as happy as she can be
in her new Lover, Sir _Frederick Flygold_, an extravagant young Fop, and
wholly given over to Gaming; so, ten to one, but you may retrieve your
Money of him, and have the two Sisters at your Devotion. Oh, thou my
better Genius than that which was given to me by Heaven at my Birth!
What Thanks, what Praises shall I return and sing to thee for this!
(cry’d King _Conundrum_.) No Thanks, no Praises, I beseech your Majesty,
since in this I gratify my self--You think I am your Friend? and, you
will agree to this? (said _Friendly_, by way of Question.) Most readily,
(returned the Fop King:) Would it were broad Day, that I might send for
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