The Works of Charles and Mary Lamb — Volume 1: Miscellaneous ProseLamb, Charles
General
The Works of Charles and Mary Lamb — Volume 1: Miscellaneous Prose
Lamb, Charles
English literature
Rather let me say, that to the satisfaction of that talent which was
given me, I have been content to sacrifice no common expectations; for
such I had from an old lady, a near relation of our family, in whose
good graces I had the fortune to stand, till one fatal evening----. You
have seen, Mr. Reflector, if you have ever passed your time much in
country towns, the kind of suppers which elderly ladies in those places
have lying in petto in an adjoining parlour, next to that where they are
entertaining their periodically-invited coevals with cards and muffins.
The cloth is usually spread some half-hour before the final rubber is
decided, whence they adjourn to sup upon what may emphatically be called
_nothing_. A sliver of ham, purposely contrived to be transparent to
shew the china-dish through it, neighbouring a slip of invisible brawn,
which abuts upon something they call a tartlet, as that is bravely
supported by an atom of marmalade, flanked in its turn by a grain of
potted beef, with a power of such dishlings, _minims of hospitality_,
spread in defiance of human nature, or rather with an utter ignorance of
what it demands. Being engaged at one of these card-parties, I was
obliged to go a little before _supper-time_ (as they facetiously call
the point of time in which they are taking these shadowy refections),
and the old lady, with a sort of fear shining through the smile of
courteous hospitality that beamed in her countenance, begged me to step
into the next room and take something before I went out in the cold,--a
proposal which lay not in my nature to deny. Indignant at the airy
prospect I saw before me, I set to, and in a trice dispatched the whole
meal intended for eleven persons,--fish, flesh, fowl, pastry,--to the
sprigs of garnishing parsley, and the last fearful custard that quaked
upon the board. I need not describe the consternation, when in due time
the dowagers adjourned from their cards. Where was the supper?--and the
servants' answer, Mr. ---- had eat it all.--That freak, however, jested
me out of a good three hundred pounds a year, which I afterwards was
informed for a certainty the old lady meant to leave me. I mention it
not in illustration of the unhappy faculty which I am possessed of; for
any unlucky wag of a school-boy, with a tolerable appetite, could have
done as much without feeling any hurt after it,--only that you may judge
whether I am a man likely to set my talent to sale, or to require the
pitiful stimulus of a wager.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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