The Works of Charles and Mary Lamb — Volume 1: Miscellaneous ProseLamb, Charles
General
The Works of Charles and Mary Lamb — Volume 1: Miscellaneous Prose
Lamb, Charles
English literature
I have read in Pliny, or in some author of that stamp, of a reptile in
Africa, whose venom is of that hot, destructive quality, that
wheresoever it fastens its tooth, the whole substance of the animal that
has been bitten in a few seconds is reduced to dust, crumbles away, and
absolutely disappears: it is called from this quality, the Annihilator.
Why am I forced to seek, in all the most prodigious and portentous facts
of Natural History, for creatures typical of myself? _I am that Snake,
that Annihilator_: "wherever I fasten, in a few seconds----."
O happy sick men, that are groaning under the want of that very thing,
the excess of which is my torment! O fortunate, too fortunate, if you
knew your happiness, invalids! What would I not give to exchange this
fierce concoctive and digestive heat,--this rabid fury which vexes me,
which tears and torments me,--for your quiet, mortified, hermit-like,
subdued, and sanctified stomachs,--your cool, chastened inclinations,
and coy desires for food!
To what unhappy figuration of the parts intestine I owe this unnatural
craving, I must leave to the anatomists and the physicians to determine:
they, like the rest of the world, have doubtless their eye upon me; and
as I have been cut up alive by the sarcasms of my friends, so I shudder
when I contemplate the probability that this animal frame, when its
restless appetites shall have ceased their importunity, may be cut up
also (horrible suggestion!) to determine in what system of solids or
fluids this original sin of my constitution lay lurking. What work will
they make with their acids and alkalines, their serums and coagulums,
effervescences, viscous matter, bile, chyle, and acrimonious juices, to
explain that cause which Nature, who willed the effect to punish me for
my sins, may no less have determined to keep in the dark from them, to
punish them for their presumption.
You may ask, Mr. Reflector, to what purpose is my appeal to you: what
can you do for me? Alas! I know too well that my case is out of the
reach of advice,--out of the reach of consolation. But it is some relief
to the wounded heart to impart its tale of misery; and some of my
acquaintance, who may read my case in your pages under a borrowed name,
may be induced to give it a more humane consideration than I could ever
yet obtain from them under my own. Make them, if possible, to _reflect_,
that an original peculiarity of constitution is no crime; that not that
which goes into the mouth desecrates a man, but that which comes out of
it,--such as sarcasm, bitter jests, mocks and taunts, and ill-natured
observations; and let them consider, if there be such things (which we
have all heard of) as Pious Treachery, Innocent Adultery, &c. whether
there may not be also such a thing as Innocent Gluttony.
I shall only subscribe myself,
Your afflicted servant,
EDAX.
_HOSPITA_ ON THE IMMODERATE INDULGENCE OF THE PLEASURES OF THE PALATE
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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