_Book_. "Proposals for printing by subscription a New Translation of Cicero Of the Nature of the Gods, and his Tusculan Questions, by Jeremy Index, Esq." I am sorry you have undertaken this, for it prevents a design of mine. _Ind_. Indeed, sir, it does not; for you see all of the book that I ever intend to publish. It is only a handsome way of asking one's friends for a guinea. _Book_. Then you have not translated a word of it, perhaps. _Ind_. Not a single syllable. _Book_. Well, you shall have your proposals forthwith: but I desire you would be a little more reasonable in your bills for the future, or I shall deal with you no longer; for I have a certain fellow of a college, who offers to furnish me with second-hand mottoes out of the Spectator for twopence each. _Ind_. Sir, I only desire to live by my goods; and I hope you will be pleased to allow some difference between a neat fresh piece, piping hot out of the classicks, and old threadbare worn-out stuff that has past through every pedant's mouth and been as common at the universities as their whores. SCENE V.--BOOKWEIGHT, DASH, QUIBBLE, BLOTPAGE, SCARECROW. _Scare_. Sir, I have brought you a libel against the ministry. _Book_. Sir, I shall not take anything against them;--for I have two in the press already. [_Aside_. _Scare_. Then, sir, I have an Apology in defence of them. _Book_. That I shall not meddle with neither; they don't sell so well. _Scare_. I have a translation of Virgil's Aeneid, with notes on it, if we can agree about the price. _Book_. Why, what price would you have? _Scare_. You shall read it first, otherwise how will you know the value? _Book_. No, no, sir, I never deal that way--a poem is a poem, and a pamphlet a pamphlet with me. Give me a good handsome large volume, with a full promising title-page at the head of it, printed on a good paper and letter, the whole well bound and gilt, and I'll warrant its selling. You have the common error of authors, who think people buy books to read. No, no, books are only bought to furnish libraries, as pictures and glasses, and beds and chairs, are for other rooms. Look ye, sir, I don't like your title-page: however, to oblige a young beginner, I don't care if I do print it at my own expence. _Scare_. But pray, sir, at whose expence shall I eat? _Book_. At whose? Why, at mine, sir, at mine. I am as great a friend to learning as the Dutch are to trade: no one can want bread with me who will earn it; therefore, sir, if you please to take your seat at my table, here will be everything necessary provided for you: good milk porridge, very often twice a day, which is good wholesome food and proper for students; a translator too is what I want at present, my last being in Newgate for shop-lifting. The rogue had a trick of translating out of the shops as well as the languages. _Scare_. But I am afraid I am not qualified for a translator, for I understand no language but my own.