_Chr._ Believe me, Mr Knight, I would not be a lady; it makes folks proud, and so humorous, and so ill huswifes, forsooth. _Sir John._ Pah!--she's a baby, the simplest thing that ever yet I knew: the happiest man I shall be in the world; for should I have my wish, it should be to keep school, and teach the bigger girls, and here, in one, my wish it is absolved. _Enter Lady_ DUPE. _L. Dupe._ By your leave, sir: I hope this noble knight will make you happy, and you make him-- _Chr._ What should I make him? [_Sighing._ _L. Dupe._ Marry, you shall make him happy in a good wife. _Chr._ I will not marry, madam. _L. Dupe._ You fool! _Sir John._ Pray, madam, let me speak with you; on my soul, 'tis the prettiest innocentest thing in the world. _L. Dupe._ Indeed, sir, she knows little besides her work, and her prayers; but I'll talk with the fool. _Sir John._ Deal gently with her, dear madam. _L. Dupe._ Come, Christian, will you not marry this noble knight? _Chr._ Ye--ye--yes---- [_Sobbingly._ _L. Dupe._ Sir, it shall be to night. _Sir John._ This innocence is a dowry beyond all price. [_Exeunt old Lady and Mrs_ CHRISTIAN. _Enter Sir_ MARTIN _to Sir_ JOHN, _musing_. _Sir Mart._ You are very melancholy, methinks, sir. _Sir John._ You are mistaken, sir. _Sir Mart._ You may dissemble as you please, but Mrs Millisent lies at the bottom of your heart. _Sir John._ My heart, I assure you, has no room for so poor a trifle. _Sir Mart._ Sure you think to wheedle me; would you have me imagine you do not love her? _Sir John._ Love her! why should you think me such a sot? love a prostitute, an infamous person! _Sir Mart._ Fair and soft, good Sir John. _Sir John._ You see, I am no very obstinate rival, I leave the field free to you: Go on, sir, and pursue your good fortune, and be as happy as such a common creature can make thee. _Sir Mart._ This is Hebrew-Greek to me; but I must tell you, sir, I will not suffer my divinity to be prophaned by such a tongue as yours. _Sir John._ Believe it; whate'er I say, I can quote my author for. _Sir Mart._ Then, sir, whoever told it you, lied in his throat, d'ye see, and deeper than that, d'ye see, in his stomach, and his guts, d'ye see: Tell me she's a common person! he's a son of a whore that said it, and I'll make him eat his words, though he spoke 'em in a privy-house. _Sir John._ What if Warner told me so? I hope you'll grant him to be a competent judge in such a business. _Sir Mart._ Did that precious rascal say it?--Now I think on't, I'll not believe you: In fine, sir, I'll hold you an even wager he denies it. _Sir John._ I'll lay you ten to one, he justifies it to your face. _Sir Mart._ I'll make him give up the ghost under my fist, if he does not deny it. _Sir John._ I'll cut off his ears upon the spot, if he does not stand to't.