_Warn._ There's nothing more distant than wit and folly; yet, like east and west, they may meet in a point, and produce actions that are but a hair's breadth from one another. _Rose._ I'll undertake he has wit enough to make one laugh at him a whole day together: He's a most comical person. _Mill._ For all this, I will not swear he is no fool; he has still discovered all your plots. _Warn._ O, madam, that's the common fate of your Machiavelians; they draw their designs so subtle, that their very fineness breaks them. _Mill._ However, I'm resolved to be on the sure side: I will have certain proof of his wit, before I marry him. _Warn._ Madam, I'll give you one; he wears his clothes like a great sloven, and that's a sure sign of wit; he neglects his outward parts; besides, he speaks French, sings, dances, plays upon the lute. _Mill._ Does he do all this, say you? _Warn._ Most divinely, madam. _Mill._ I ask no more; then let him give me a serenade immediately; but let him stand in view, I'll not be cheated. _Warn._ He shall do't, madam:---But how, the devil knows; for he sings like a screech-owl, and never touched the lute. [_Aside._ _Mill._ You'll see't performed? _Warn._ Now I think on't, madam, this will but retard our enterprise. _Mill._ Either let him do't, or see me no more. _Warn._ Well, it shall be done, madam; but where's your father? will not he overhear it? _Mill._ As good hap is, he's below stairs, talking with a seaman, that has brought him news from the East Indies. _Warn._ What concernment can he have there? _Mill._ He had a bastard son there, whom he loved extremely: but not having any news from him these many years, concluded him dead; this son he expects within these three days. _Warn._ When did he see him last? _Mill._ Not since he was seven years old. _Warn._ A sudden thought comes into my head, to make him appear before his time; let my master pass for him, and by that means he may come into the house unsuspected by your father, or his rival. _Mill._ According as he performs his serenade, I'll talk with you----make haste----I must retire a little. [_Exit_ MILL. _from above_. _Rose._ I'll instruct him most rarely, he shall never be found out; but, in the mean time, what wilt thou do for a serenade? _Warn._ Faith, I am a little non-plus'd on the sudden; but a warm consolation from thy lips, Rose, would set my wits a working again. _Rose._ Adieu, Warner. [_Exit._ _Warn._ Inhuman Rose, adieu!--Blockhead Warner, into what a premunire hast thou brought thyself; this 'tis to be so forward to promise for another;--but to be godfather to a fool, to promise and vow he should do any thing like a Christian-- _Enter Sir_ MARTIN MAR-ALL.