_Phæd._ Because he's the greatest: I hate to deal with one of your little baffling gods, that can do nothing but by permission; but Jupiter can swinge you off, if you swear by him, and are forsworn. _Alc._ I swear by Jupiter. _Phæd._ Then--I believe he is victorious, and I know he is safe; for I looked through the key-hole, and saw him knocking at the gate; and I had the conscience to let him cool his heels there. _Alc._ And would'st thou not open to him? Oh, thou traitress! _Phæd._ No, I was a little wiser: I left Sosia's wife to let him in; for I was resolved to bring the news, and make my pennyworths out of him, as time shall show. _Enter_ JUPITER, _in the shape of_ AMPHITRYON, _with_ SOSIA'S _wife_, BROMIA. _He kisses and embraces_ ALCMENA. _Jup._ O let me live for ever on those lips! The nectar of the gods to these is tasteless. I swear, that, were I Jupiter, this night I would renounce my heaven, to be Amphitryon. _Alc._ Then, not to swear beneath Amphitryon's oath, (Forgive me, Juno, if I am profane,) I swear, I would be what I am this night, And be Alcmena, rather than be Juno. _Brom._ Good my lord, what is become of my poor bedfellow, your man Sosia? you keep such a billing and cooing here, to set one's mouth a watering--what I say, though I am a poor woman, I have a husband as well as my lady; and should be as glad as she, of a little honest recreation. _Phæd._ And what have you done with your old friend, and my old sweetheart, Judge Gripus? has he brought me home a crammed purse, that swells with bribes? if he be rich, I will make him welcome like an honourable magistrate; but if he has not had the wit to sell justice, he judges no causes in my court, I warrant him. _Alc._ My lord, you tell me nothing of the battle? Is Thebes victorious, are our foes destroyed? For, now I find you safe, I should be glad To hear you were in danger. _Jup._ [_Aside._] A man had need be a god, to stand the fury of three talking women! I think, in my conscience, I made their tongues of thunder. _Brom._ [_Pulling him on one side._] I asked the first question; answer me, my lord. _Phæd._ [_Pulling him on the other side._] Peace! mine is a lover, and yours but a husband; and my judge is my lord too; the title shall take place, and I will be answered. _Jup._ Sosia is safe; Gripus is rich; both coming; I rode before them, with a lover's haste.---- Was e'er poor god so worried? but for my love, I wish I were in heaven again with Juno. [_Aside._ _Alc._ Then I, it seems, am last to be regarded?