_Merc._ [_From the Balcony, aside._] This is no very charitable action of a god, to use him ill, who has never offended me; but my planet disposes me to malice; and when we great persons do but a little mischief, the world has a good bargain of us. _Amph._ How now, what means the locking up of my doors at this time of day? [_Knocks._ _Merc._ Softly, friend, softly; you knock as loud, and as saucily, as a lord's footman, that was sent before him to warn the family of his honour's visit. Sure you think the doors have no feeling! What the devil are you, that rap with such authority? _Amph._ Look out, and see; 'tis I. _Merc._ You! what you? _Amph._ No more, I say, but open. _Merc._ I'll know to whom first. _Amph._ I am one, that can command the doors open. _Merc._ Then you had best command them, and try whether they will obey you. _Amph._ Dost thou not know me? _Merc._ Pr'ythee, how should I know thee? Dost thou take me for a conjurer? _Amph._ What's this? midsummer-moon! Is all the world gone a madding?--Why, Sosia! _Merc._ That's my name, indeed; didst thou think I had forgot it? _Amph._ Dost thou see me? _Merc._ Why, dost thou pretend to go invisible? If thou hast any business here, dispatch it quickly; I have no leisure to throw away upon such prattling companions. _Amph._ Thy companion, slave! How darest thou use this insolent language to thy master? _Merc._ How! Thou my master? By what title? I never had any other master but Amphitryon. _Amph._ Well; and for whom dost thou take me? _Merc._ For some rogue or other; but what rogue I know not. _Amph._ Dost thou not know me for Amphitryon, slave! _Merc._ How should I know thee, when I see thou dost not know thyself? Thou Amphitryon! In what tavern hast thou been? and how many bottles did thy business, to metamorphose thee into my lord? _Amph._ I will so drub thee for this insolence! _Merc._ How now, impudence, are you threatening your betters? I should bring you to condign punishment, but that I have a great respect for the good wine, though I find it in a fool's noddle. _Amph._ What, none to let me in? Why, Phædra! Bromia!---- _Merc._ Peace, fellow; if my wife hears thee, we are both undone. At a word, Phædra and Bromia are very busy; one in making a caudle for my lady, and the other in heating napkins, to rub down my lord when he rises from bed. _Amph._ Amazement seizes me! _Merc._ At what art thou amazed? My master and my lady had a falling out, and are retired, without seconds, to decide the quarrel. If thou wert not a meddlesome fool, thou wouldst not be thrusting thy nose into other people's matters. Get thee about thy business, if thou hast any; for I'll hear no more of thee. [_Exit_ MERCURY _from above_.