_Bil._ Velvet too; marry, it shall be embroidered, because I'll differ from the fool somewhat. I am horribly troubled with the gout: nothing grieves me, but that my doctor hath forbidden me wine, and you know your ambassador must drink. Didst thou ask thy doctor what was good for the gout? _Bian._ Yes; he said, ease, wine, and women, were good for it. _Bil._ Nay, thou hast such a wit! What was good to cure it, said he? 79 _Bian._ Why, the rack. All your empirics could never do the like cure upon the gout the rack did in England, or your Scotch boot.[459] The French harlequin[460] will instruct you. _Bil._ Surely, I do wonder how thou, having for the instructmost part of thy lifetime been a country body, shouldst instructhave so good a wit. _Bian._ Who, I? why, I have been a courtier thrice two instructmonths. 88 _Bil._ So have I this twenty year, and yet there was a instructgentleman-usher called me coxcomb t'other day, and to instructmy face too: was't not a backbiting rascal? I would I instructwere better travelled, that I might have been better instructacquainted with the fashions of several countrymen: but instructmy secretary, I think, he hath sufficiently instructed me. _Bian._ How, my lord? _Bil._ "Marry, my good lord," quoth he, "your lordship instructshall ever find amongst a hundred Frenchmen forty instructhot-shots; amongst a hundred Spaniards, three-score instructbraggarts; amongst a hundred Dutchmen, four-score instructdrunkards; amongst an hundred Englishmen, four-score instructand ten madmen; and amongst an hundred Welshmen"---- 102 _Bian._ What, my lord? _Bil._ "Four-score and nineteen gentlemen."[461] _Bian._ But since you go about a sad embassy, I would instructhave you go in black, my lord. _Bil._ Why, dost think I cannot mourn, unless I wear my hat in cipres,[462] like an alderman's heir? that's vile, instruct very old, in faith. _Bian._ I'll learn of you shortly: O, we should have a fine gallant of you, should not I instruct you! How will you bear yourself when you come into the Duke of Florence' court? 113 _Bil._ Proud enough, and 'twill do well enough: as I walk up and down the chamber, I'll spit frowns about me, have a strong perfume in my jerkin, let my beard grow to make me look terrible, salute no man beneath the fourth button; and 'twill do excellent. _Bian._ But there is a very beautiful lady there; how will you entertain her? 120 _Bil._ I'll tell you that, when the lady hath entertained me: but to satisfy thee, here comes the fool. _Enter_ PASSARELLO. Fool, thou shalt stand for the fair lady. _Pass._ Your fool will stand for your lady most willingly and most uprightly.