The man, who hopes t' obtain the promis'd cup, Must in one _posture_ stand, and _ne'er look up_; Nor _stop_, but rattle over _every_ word-- No matter _what_, so it can _not_ be heard: Thus let him hurry on, nor think to rest: Who speaks the _fastest's_ sure to speak the _best_; Who utters most within the shortest space, May, safely, hope to win the _wordy race_. The Sons of _Science_ these, who, thus repaid, Linger in ease in Granta's sluggish shade; 50 Where on Cam's sedgy banks, supine, they lie, Unknown, unhonour'd live--unwept for die: Dull as the pictures, which adorn their halls, They think all learning fix'd within their walls: In manners rude, in foolish forms precise, All modern arts affecting to despise; Yet prizing _Bentley's, Brunck's_, or _Porson's_ [4] note, [v] More than the _verse on which the critic wrote_: Vain as their honours, heavy as their Ale, [5] Sad as their wit, and tedious as their tale; 60 To friendship dead, though not untaught to feel, When Self and Church demand a Bigot zeal. With eager haste they court the lord of power, [vi] (Whether 'tis PITT or PETTY [6] rules the hour;) To _him_, with suppliant smiles, they bend the head, While distant mitres to their eyes are spread; [vii] But should a storm o'erwhelm him with disgrace, They'd fly to seek the next, who fill'd his place. _Such_ are the men who learning's treasures guard! _Such_ is their _practice_, such is their _reward_! 70 This _much_, at least, we may presume to say-- The premium can't exceed the _price_ they _pay_. [viii] 1806. [Footnote 1: No reflection is here intended against the person mentioned under the name of Magnus. He is merely represented as performing an unavoidable function of his office. Indeed, such an attempt could only recoil upon myself; as that gentleman is now as much distinguished by his eloquence, and the dignified propriety with which he fills his situation, as he was in his younger days for wit and conviviality. [Dr. William Lort Mansel (1753-1820) was, in 1798, appointed Master of Trinity College, by Pitt. He obtained the bishopric of Bristol, through the influence of his pupil, Spencer Perceval, in 1808. He died in 1820.] [Footnote 2: Undergraduates of the second and third year.] [Footnote 3: Demosthenes.]