[Footnote 1. "I enacted Penruddock, in 'The Wheel of Fortune', and Tristram Fickle, in the farce of 'The Weathercock', for three nights, in some private theatricals at Southwell, in 1806, with great applause. The occasional prologue for our volunteer play was also of my composition."--'Diary; Life', p. 38. The prologue was written by him, between stages, on his way from Harrogate. On getting into the carriage at Chesterfield, he said to his companion, "Now, Pigot, I'll spin a prologue for our play;" and before they reached Mansfield he had completed his task,--interrupting only once his rhyming reverie, to ask the proper pronunciation of the French word 'début'; and, on being told it, exclaiming, "Aye, that will do for rhyme to ''new'.'"--'Life', p. 39. "The Prologue was spoken by G. Wylde, Esq."--Note by Miss E. PIGOT.] [Footnote i. _But not for her alone_.--[4to] [Footnote ii: _For them each Hero_.--[4to]] [Footnote iii: _Surely these last_.--[4to]] [Footnote iv: _Whilst Youth_.--[4to. 'P. on V. Occasions'.]] [Footnote v: _The sternest critic_.--[4to]] TO ELIZA. [i] 1. Eliza! [1] what fools are the Mussulman sect, Who, to woman, deny the soul's future existence; Could they see thee, Eliza! they'd own their defect, And this doctrine would meet with a general resistance. [ii] 2. Had their Prophet possess'd half an atom of sense, [iii] He ne'er would have _woman_ from Paradise driven; Instead of his _Houris_, a flimsy pretence, [iv] With _woman alone_ he had peopled his Heaven. 3. Yet, still, to increase your calamities more, [v] Not content with depriving your bodies of spirit, He allots one poor husband to share amongst four! [vi]-- With _souls_ you'd dispense; but, this last, who could bear it? 4. His religion to please neither party is made; On _husbands_ 'tis _hard_, to the wives most uncivil; Still I can't contradict, [vii] what so oft has been said, "Though women are angels, yet wedlock's the devil." 5. This terrible truth, even Scripture has told, [2] Ye Benedicks! hear me, and listen with rapture; If a glimpse of redemption you wish to behold, Of ST. MATT.--read the second and twentieth chapter. 6. 'Tis surely enough upon earth to be vex'd, With wives who eternal confusion are spreading; "But in Heaven" (so runs the Evangelists' Text) "We neither have giving in marriage, or wedding." 7. From this we suppose, (as indeed well we may,) That should Saints after death, with their spouses put up more, And wives, as in life, aim at absolute sway, All Heaven would ring with the conjugal uproar. 8. Distraction and Discord would follow in course, Nor MATTHEW, nor MARK, nor ST. PAUL, can deny it, The only expedient is general divorce, To prevent universal disturbance and riot. 9.