_Philos_. I congratulate you, Parrhesiades; you are unanimously acquitted, and are henceforth one of us. _Par_. Your humble servant. Or no, I must find more tragic words to fit the solemnity of the occasion: Victorious might My life's path light, And ever strew with garlands bright! _Vir_. Well, now we come to our second course; let us have in the other people and try them for their insults. Parrhesiades shall accuse them each in turn. _Par_. Well said, Virtue. Syllogism, my boy, put your head out over the city and summon the philosophers. _Syl_. Oyez, oyez! All philosophers to the Acropolis to make their defence before Virtue, Philosophy, and Justice. _Par_. The proclamation does not bring them in flocks, does it? They have their reasons for keeping clear of Justice. And a good many of them are too busy with their rich friends. If you want them all to come, Syllogism, I will tell you what to say. _Philos_. No, no; call them yourself, Parrhesiades, in your own way. _Par_. Quite a simple matter. Oyez, oyez! All who profess philosophy and hold themselves entitled to the name of philosopher shall appear on the Acropolis for largesse; 8 pounds, with a sesame cake, to each. A long beard shall qualify for a square of compressed figs, in addition. Every applicant to have with him, of temperance, justice, and self-control, any that he is in possession of, it being clearly understood that these are not indispensable, and, of syllogisms, a complete set of five, these being the condition precedent of wisdom. Two golden talents in the midst are set, His prize who wrangles best amongst his peers. Just look! the ascent packed with a pushing crowd, at the very first sound of my 8 pounds. More of them along the Pelasgicum, more by the temple of Asclepius, a bigger crowd still over the Areopagus. Why, positively there are a few at the tomb of Talos; and see those putting ladders against the temple of Castor and Pollux; up they climb, buzzing and clustering like a swarm of bees. In Homeric phrase, on this side are exceeding many, and on that Ten thousand, thick as leaves and flowers in spring. Noisily they settle, the Acropolis is covered with them in a trice; everywhere wallet and beard, flattery and effrontery, staves and greed, logic and avarice. The little company which came up at the first proclamation is swamped beyond recovery, swallowed up in these later crowds; it is hopeless to find them, because of the external resemblance. That is the worst of it, Philosophy; you are really open to censure for not marking and labelling them; these impostors are often more convincing than the true philosophers. _Philos_. It shall be done before long; at present let us receive them. _Platon_. Platonists first! _Pyth_. No, no; Pythagoreans first; our master is senior. _Stoics_. Rubbish! the Porch is the best. _Peri_. Now, now, this is a question of money; Peripatetics first there!