talks nonsense about the iniquity of pleasure But toys with words: his thoughts are bent elsewhither. And now, gentlemen, I leave you to your vote. _Porch_. Not yet! Let me ask him a few questions. _Epi_. Yes? I am ready. _Porch_. You hold toil to be an evil? _Epi_. I do. _Porch_. And pleasure a good? _Epi_. Unquestionably. _Porch_. Do you recognize the distinction between _differentia_ and _indifferentia_? between _praeposita_ and _rejecta_? _Epi_. Why, certainly. _Her_. Madam, this discussion must cease; the jury say they do not understand word-chopping. They will now give their votes. _Porch_. Ah; I should have won, if I could have tried him with my third figure of _self-evidents_. _Just_. Who wins? _Her_. Unanimous verdict for Pleasure. _Porch_. I appeal to Zeus. _Just_. By all means. Next case, Hermes. _Her_. Luxury _v._ Virtue, _re_ Aristippus; Aristippus must appear 23 in person. _Vir_. I ought to speak first. Aristippus is mine; his words and his deeds alike proclaim him mine. _Lux_. On the contrary, any one who will observe his garlands and his purple robes and his perfumes will agree that he is mine. _Just_. Peace! This suit must stand over, until Zeus has decided the appeal _re_ Dionysius. The cases are similar. If Porch wins her appeal, Aristippus shall be adjudged to Virtue: if not, Luxury must have him. Bring the next case. By the way, those jurors must not have their fee; they have not earned it. _Her_. So the poor old gentlemen have climbed up all this way for nothing! _Just_. Well, they must be content with a third. Now go away, all of you, and don’t be cross; you shall have another chance. _Her_. Diogenes of Sinope wanted! Bank, it is for you to speak. 24 _Diog_. Look here, Madam Justice, if she doesn’t stop bothering, I shall have assault and battery to answer for before long, instead of desertion; my stick is ready. _Just_. What is the meaning of this? Bank has run away, and Diogenes after her, with his stick raised. Poor Bank! I am afraid she will be roughly handled. Call Pyrrho. _Her_. Here is Painting, but Pyrrho has never come up. 25 I knew how it would be. _Just_. And what was his reason? _Her_. He holds that there is no such thing as a true decision. _Just_. Then judgement goes against him by default. Now for the Syrian advocate. The indictments were only filed a day or two ago; there was no such hurry. However—. We will first take the case in which Rhetoric is plaintiff. How people crowd in to hear it! _Her_. Just so: the case has not had time to get stale, you see; it has the charm of novelty, the indictment, as you say, having only been filed yesterday. The prospect, too, of hearing the Syrian defend himself against two such plaintiffs as Rhetoric and Dialogue, one after the other, is a great attraction. Well, Rhetoric, when are you going to begin?