But I know what the grievance is: he wants me to sit and discourse subtle nothings with him about the immortality of the soul, and the exact number of pints of pure homogeneous essence that went to the making of the universe, and the claims of rhetoric to be called a shadow of a fraction of statecraft, or a fourth part of flattery. He takes a curious pleasure in refinements of this kind; it tickles his vanity most deliciously to be told that not every man can see so far into the ideal as he. Evidently he expects _me_ to conform to his taste in this respect; he is still hankering after those lost wings; his eyes are turned upwards; he cannot see the things that lie before his feet. I think there is nothing else he can complain of. He cannot say that I, who pass for a barbarian, have torn off his Greek dress, and replaced it with one like my own: that would have been another matter; to deprive him of his native garb were indeed a crime. Gentlemen, I have made my defence, as far as in me lies: I trust that your present verdict will confirm the former one. _Her_. Well I never! All ten are for you again. Only one dissentient, and he the same one as before. True to his envious principles, he must ever give his vote against his betters. The jurors may now leave the court. The remaining cases will come on to-morrow. THE PARASITE, A DEMONSTRATION THAT SPONGING IS A PROFESSION _Tychiades. Simon_ _Tyc_. I am curious about you, Simon. Ordinary people, free and slaves alike, have some trade or profession that enables them to benefit themselves and others; you seem to be an exception. _Si_. I do not quite see what you mean, Tychiades; put it a little clearer. _Tyc_. I want to know whether you have a profession of any sort; for instance, are you a musician? _Si_. Certainly not. _Tyc_. A doctor? _Si_. No. _Tyc_. A mathematician? _Si_. No. _Tyc_. Do you teach rhetoric, then? I need not ask about philosophy; you have about as much to do with that as sin has. _Si_. Less, if possible. Do not imagine that you are enlightening me upon my failings. I acknowledge myself a sinner—worse than you take me for. _Tyc_. Very well. But possibly you have abstained from these professions because nothing great is easy. Perhaps a trade is more in your way; are you a carpenter or cobbler? Your circumstances are hardly such as to make a trade superfluous. _Si_. Quite true. Well, I have no skill in any of these. _Tye_. But in——? _Si_. An excellent one, in my opinion; if you were acquainted with it you would agree, I am sure. I can claim to be a practical master in the art by this time; whether I can give an account of my faith is another question. _Tyc_. What is it? _Si_. No, I do not think I have got up the theory of it sufficiently. For the present, rest assured that I have a profession, and cease your strictures on that head. Its nature you shall know another time. _Tyc_. No, no; I will not be put off like that.