_Jerry Scandal_, whale and ghost printer in _White-Friers_, had plagued the town above ten years with apparitions, murders, catechisms, and the like stuff; by showing him the phiz of terrible _Robin_ in my green magic-glass, I so effectually frighted him, that he has since demolish’d all his letters, dismissed his hawkers, flung up his business, and instead of news, cries flounders and red-herrings about the streets. _Joachim Hazard_, of _Cripplegate_ parish in _White-cross-street_, almost at the farther end near _Old-street_, turning in at the sign of the _White Crow_ in _Goat-alley_, strait forward, down three-steps at the sign of the _Globe_, was so be-devil’d with the spirit of lying, that he out-did two hard mouth’d evidences in their own profession, and could not open his mouth without romancing; I made him snuff up some half a score drops of my _Elixir Alethinum_, and now he has left off fortune-telling and astrology, and is return’d to his primitive trade of weaving. _Farmer Frizzle-pate_, of _Bullington_, near _Andover_, had been blind thirty five years and upwards; my _Ophthalmick_ drops restor’d him to his sight in a minute, and now he can read a _Geneva_ bible without spectacles. A certificate of this miraculous cure, I have under the hand of the parson of the parish, and his amen-curler. I cured a _Kentish_ parson of an _Infirmitas Memoriæ_, which he got by a jumble of his _Glandula Pinealis_, after a bowl of punch and a boxing-bout. He was reduc’d to that deplorable condition, as to turn over play-books instead of his concordance, quote _Quæ Genus_ instead of St. _Austin_; nay, he forgot tythe-eggs, demanded _Easter_ dues at _Martinmas_, bid _Bartholomew-Fair_ instead of _Ash-Wednesday_; and frequently mistook the service of matrimony, for that of the dead: what is yet more surprising, he forgot even to drink over his left thumb; but now he has as staunch a memory, as a pawn-broker for the day of the month; a country attorney for mischief; or a popish clergyman for revenge. I cured serjeant _Dolthead_, of a prodigious itch in the palms of his hands: A most wonderful cure! for now he refuses fees, as heartily as a young wench does an ugly fellow, when she has a handsome one in view; his attorney is run mad, his wife is turn’d bawd to take double fees; and his daughters mantua-makers and whores, to get by two trades.