An eminent coach-keeping physician was troubled with a _Farrago Medicinarum_, or a _Tumor Prescriptionalis_ to that monstrous degree, that he writ bills by the ell, and prescribed medicines by the hogshead and wheelbarrow-full. To the amazement of all that knew him: I have effectually cured him on’t; for he now writes but three words, prescribes but two scruples, leaves people to a wholesome kitchen-diet, and nature has undone the sexton and funeral undertaker; and the overstock’d parish has petitioned the privy-council to send out a new coloney to the _West-Indies_. I cured a certain head of a college, of a _Hebetude Cerebri_; so that he now jokes with the bachelors and junior fry, goes to the dancing-school with the fellow-commoners; and next act will be able to make a whole _terræ filius_’s speech himself. An apothecary in _Cheapside_, was so strangely over-run with an _Inundatio Veneni_, that the grass grew in the parish round him; but now, thanks to the cure I wrought upon him, he has reduc’d his shop to the compass of a raree-show, gets but ten pence in the shilling, let the neighbouring infants grow up to men; and is going to build an hospital for decay’d prize-fighters and dragoons. I cured a vintner behind the _Exchange_, of a _Mixtura Diabolica_, so that now he hates apples as much as our forefather after his kick on the arse out of paradice; shuns a drugster’s shop, as much as a broken cit does a serjeant; swears he’ll clear but ten thousand pounds in five years, and then set up for psalm-singing, and sleeping under the pulpit. I cured a _Norfolk_ attorney of the _Scabies Causidico Rabularies_, another prodigious cure never perform’d before; so that now he’s as quiet as a cramb’d capon among barn door hens, he won’t so much as scratch for his food; his uncle the counseller has disinherited him; and since he has listed himself for a foot soldier. I cured an _Amsterdam_ burgomaster’s wife of barrenness, so that now she has two children at a birth; besides a brace of sooterkins every year, and even now in these low-countries (so effectual are my remedies) I am teaz’d with daily messages, for astringents and flood gates, to help the poor pains-taking mortal in his aquatic situation.