_Daniel Guzzle_, Inn-keeper in _Southwark_, by perpetual tippling with his customers, was so inordinately swell’d with a dropsy, that Sir _John Falstaff_, in _Harry_ the fourth, was a meer skeleton to him. I tapp’d his _Heidelburg-Abdomen_, and so vast an inundation issued from him, that if the stream had continued a quarter of an hour longer, it would have overflowed the whole borough, and made a second cataclysm. He is now perfectly cured, is as slender as a beau that has been twice salivated for a shape; runs up the monument some half a score times every morning for his diversion, jumps thro’ a hoop, makes nothing of leaping over a five-barr’d gate; and the famous Mr. _Barnes_ of _Rotherhith_ has enter’d him into his company. _Obadiah Hemming_, Taylor, at the sign of the _Red-Wastcoat_ and _Blazing-Star_, near _Tower-Hill_, was troubled with so unmerciful a _Ptisick_, that no body in the family could sleep for him: I ply’d him with my _Antitussient Pillula Pulmonaris_, but without effect. I wondered how the devil my never-failing remedy disappointed me! cries I to him, honest friend, what may your name be? _Obadiah Hemming_, says he. Very well; and what parish do you live in; _All-hallows-Barking_. Oh, ho! I have now found out the secret how my pills came to miscarry; why, friend, thou hast a damn’d ptisical name, and livest in a confounded ptisical parish: come call thyself _Obadiah Bowman_, and get thee to _Hampstead_, _Highgate_, or any place but _All-hallows-Barking_, and I’ll insure thy recovery. He did so; and is so strangely improv’d upon it, that he is since chosen into St. _Paul_’s choir, and begins to rival Mr. _Goslin_ and Mr. _Elford_. _Rebbecca Twist_, Ribbon-Weaver, in _Drum-Alley, Spittle Fields_, aged 75, by drinking anniseed-robin, geneva, and other ungodly liquors, and smoaking mundungus, had so utterly decayed her natural heat, that she had lain bed-rid thirty years, and on my conscience a calenture would no more have warm’d her, than a farthing candle would roast a sirloin of beef. I made so entire a renovation of her with my _Arcanum Helmontio-Glaubero-Paracelsianum_, that she’s become another creature, out-talks the parson and midwife at every gossiping, dances to a miracle, never fails to give her attendance at all merry meetings; and no sooner hears the noise of a fiddle, but she frisks and capers it about, like a young hoyden of fifteen.