_Pierre Babillard_, _French_ valet and pimp in ordinary to my lord _Demure_, was troubled with the _Glosso-mania_, or that epidemical disease of _Normandy_, the talking sickness. He not only prattled all night in his sleep, but his clack went incessantly all day long; the cook-maid and nurse were talk’d quite deaf by him; whereas his master labour’d under the contrary extreme, and by his good will wou’d not strike once in twenty four hours; by the most stupendous operation that ever was known, (for the transfusion of one animal’s blood into another, so much boasted of by the royal society, is not to be compared to it) I transfused some of the _French_ valet’s loquacity into the noble peer, and some of the noble peer’s taciturnity into the _French_ valet; so that now, to the great consolation of the family, my lord sometimes talks, and Monsieur _Babillard_ sometimes holds his tongue. Sir _Blunder Dullman_, professor of rhetorick, and orator to the ancient city of _Augusta Trinobantum_, had been troubled, ever from his infancy with that epidemical magistrate’s distemper, the _Bos_ in _Lingua_; so that whenever he made any speeches, the gentlemen were ready to split their sides, and the ladies to bepiss themselves with laughing at the singularities of his discourse. By my _Pulvis Cephalicus_, I so far recover’d him, that he cou’d draw up his tropes and metaphors in good order, and harangue you twenty lines upon the stretch, without making above the same number of blunders. If he has since relapsed, ’tis no fault of mine, but he may e’en thank his city conversation for it. _Dinah Fribble_, eldest daughter to _Jonathan Fribble_ of _Thames-street_, tallow-chandler, was so enormously given to the language of old _Babylon_, that she would talk bawdy before her mother, her grandmother, and godmother; nay, name the two beastly monosyllables before the doctor and lecturer of the parish. Her father, one of the worshipful elders of _Salters-hall_, wondered how a child so religiously educated, fed from her cradle with the crumbs of comfort, and lull’d daily asleep with _Hopkins_ and _Sternhold_, should labour under so obscene a dispensation. In short, I was sent for, pour’d some twenty drops of my _Anti-Asmodean_ essence into her nostrils, and the next morning a huge thundering _Priapus_ eleven inches long, came out of her left ear; she’s now perfectly recover’d, talks as piously, and behaves herself as gravely as the demurest female in the neighbourhood.