you a true account of the present state of most of these_ Philosophers’ _bodies_. Thales, _who held that_ Water _was the beginning of all things, is now satisfy’d that_ Fire _is the conclusion of love_. Pythagoras _that run thro’ so many changes in the other world, has undergone a greater transmutation here in a sweating tub. The divine_ Plato, _and his disciple_ Aristotle, _are at this present writing very lovingly salivating in my garret_. Socrates _had his shin-bones scrap’d t’other morning by my toad-eater Dr._ Connor, _by the same token the_ Hibernian _thrash’d him for swearing so inordinately at his_ dæmon _that led him into this mischance_. Aristotle _told me last night, that nothing in philosophy troubled him so much as pissing of needles_. Diogenes _has a phiz so merrily collyflower’d, that he protests against planting of men, since these are the effects of it; and the virtuous_ Seneca _has lost all his_ Roman _patience with his nose. But alas, these solemn splaymouth’d gentlemen, Madam_, says I, _only do it to improve in natural philosophy, with no wicked intentions, I can assure you, no carnal titillation to urge them on, or the like. Well, says she, since ’tis in vain to play the hypocrite any longer, I own myself a downright frail woman, therefore resolve me what is best to be done for my recovery? Look you, Madam_, says I, _you must take physick, and live sober for a fortnight or so, and I’ll engage to make you as primitively sound as when you first came squaling into the world. Here’s a dose of pills the devil of any_ Mercury_’s in them; take four of them every morning, and to make them operate the better, drink me a quart of honest_ Phlegethon _a little warm’d over the fire, and mix some grated nutmeg with it to correct the crudity_. She promis’d to observe my directions, presented me with half a score broad pieces, and as she was going out of the room, _Worthy doctor_, says she, _I conjure you to have a care of my dear dear reputation: And_, Madam, answers I, _pray have you likewise a care of your dear dear brandy bottle, and your beloved Dr._ Steven_’s water with the gold in it_; and so we parted. I was thinking with myself, surely it rains nothing but female visitants this morning, when a brace of two handed strapping jades bolted into my closet, and upon a due examination of their faces, I found one of them to be _Thalestris_ the _Amazonian_, who, as I hinted to you in my last, is become an haberdasheress of small wares; and the other that termagant motly composition of half man half woman, _Christiana_ the late queen of _Sweden_. So my two chopping _Bona Roba’s_, says I to ’em and what business has brought you hither? _Why you must know, cries_ Thalestris, _that both of us are furiously in love and want a little of your assistance_.