My next visitant was _Lucretia_, who brought some of her water in an _urinal_, and desir’d me to give her my judgment on’t. Finding her ladyship look a little blueish, and so forth, under the eyes; what was more, having been privately inform’d of the correspondence she kept with _Æsop_ the _fabulist_; _Madam_, says I bluntly to her, _the party to whom this urine belongs, is under none of the most healthful circumstances, but troubled with certain prickings and pains. I’ll swear, doctor_, says she, _you are a man of skill, for to my certain knowledge the party is troubled with those concerns you were talking of. You need not forestal me, Madam_, says I to her, _but especially when she makes water; I knew it as soon as ever I cast my eyes upon the urinal: and pray, Sir, what may be the occasion of it? for the party is at a horrid loss, what is the matter with her. Why, Madam_, says I, _the matter is plain enough, the party has been committing acts of privity with somebody, and has disoblig’d love’s mansion by it: or to express myself in the familiar language of a modern versificator and quack_; _Has been dabbling in private, and had the mishap,_ _In seeking for pleasure to meet with a clap._ _How doctor, says she, have you the impudence to say the party is clapt?_ verily, Madam, and yet I am no more impudent than some of my neighbours. _Why you saucy fellow you_, continues she, _I’d have you to know that I am the party to whome the urine belongs, and my name is_ Lucretia, _that celebrated matron in_ Roman _history, who scorning to out-live her honour, perferr’d a voluntary death to an ignominious life. Yes, Madam_, says I, _I know your history well enough, and whatever opinion I may have of your chastity, I have yet a greater of your discretion; for, between friends be it said, Madam, before you left the insignificant world, you were resolv’d to taste the sweetness of young_ Tarquin_’s person; and finding what a vast difference there was between vigorous love and phlegmatick duty, you thought it not worth your while to be troubled any longer with the dull embraces of an impotent husband. Oh most abominable scandal_, cries our matron, _but Heaven be prais’d_ Livy _tells another story of my chastity; and to let thee see how scrupulous and careful I am to preserve my reputation spotless, know, I keep company with none but moralists and philosophers. Lord, Madam_, says I, _your intrigues are no mysteries to me: I am no stranger to that laudable commerce you keep with that crook-back’d moralist and fable-monger of_ Phrygia, _they call him my lord; Æsop_ (at which unwelcome words she look’d paler than I have the charity to believe she did when the impetuous _Tarquin_ leapt into bed to her) _and as for those sage recommenders of virtue, the philosophers, take my word for it, a clap may be got as soon among them, as any other sort of men whatsoever. Since my coming into these parts, Madam, I am able to give