_Ghost._ Contradiction to monarchy, tho’ set up by some monarchs to spite others. But to your question, old tarpaulin: Whilst I was getting money and drinking punch and brandy, to hearten me for the noble combats of snick or snee, or some illustrious sea-fight, or some generous undertaking at the island of _Formosa_, (for a true _Dutchman_ never fights without his head full of brandy) my wife made it fly like _sooterkins_ at home; at last she made me turn bankrupt, and cheat my creditors, and so dying, I came with a full sail and brisk gale into your port. _Lucif._ You, the rest, speak. _Omnes._ For our wives, O _Sooterkin Hagan_, our wives, whose broad-built bulk the boisterous billows bear. _Lucif._ Away with them into the den of anarchy and confusion, below the founders of _Babel_. [_They are carry’d off, and abundance of_ English _bands come forward_. _Lucif._ Numerous crew! answer me; What has brought you into this kingdom; and what were you in the world? [_A ghost of a beau speaks to another of the same feather._ _1 Beau’s Gh._ D---- me, _Jack_, didst ever hear so silly and impertinent a question? As if marriage was not the only cause of damnation. [_Aside._ _2 Beau’s Gh._ R----t me, _Ned_, as thou say’st, I never heard a country justice ask more _mal à propos_; but the devil’s an ass, and so let him pass. _The first of the first band answers the Devil._ I am an _Englishman_, who, after I had been a notorious cuckold, was perswaded by my wife to fight the man that made me so, and was fairly kill’d for satisfaction, as all this band that follows me were; and we are damn’d for _fools_ as well as _cuckolds_. _Omnes._ ’Tis true, _honour_ and _wedlock_ have been our ruin. _Lucif._ Away with them into _fools paradise_, below the keeping-cullies, as the more _unpardonable monsters_. [_They are carry’d off, and as the next come in, the Beaux speak._ _1 Be. Gh._ D---- me, _Ned_, didst ever know such fools as they, that could not be satisfy’d to live _cuckolds_, but must die so too, with a witness, [_Aside_. _2 Be. Gh._ R----t me, _Jack_, if ever I was of that fighting humour; nor did I ever fight but once, and then forc’d to it; but my _stays_ sav’d my life, and I wore my glove that was cut in the encounter as long as ’twould hang on my hand: therefore, tho’ I knew Sir _Roger Allfight_ kiss’d my _wife_, yet as long as I could sup at the _Rose_, and break the drawer’s head if he made not haste, or brought _bad wines_, or so, ’gad I let him kiss her and welcome. [_Aside._ _1 Be. Gh._ S----k me, _Ned_, I was always of thy mind, as long as I could flutter abroad in my glass coach, have my diamond snuff-box full of _Orangeree_ or _Roderigo_, _&c._ D---- me if I car’d a rush who rode in my saddle. But mark that formal coxcomb now going to speak: lord! how fine a thing it is to be a man of wit, and what a singular figure he makes! but hark, old grey-beard begins. _Lucif._ Speak you the next.