_L. Flippant’s Ghost._ D--me, Sir, I have been a man of the town, or rather a man of wit, and have been confess’d a beau, and admitted into the family of the rakehellonians: and, d--me, Sir, I think I am much under that dilemma at present.---- I was learn’d in the ingenious art of dumfounding; a wit I said, dear devil, I was, and it lay as a gentleman’s shou’d, most in lewdness and atheism. I married in jest, or a frolick, which you please; but as I thought a fortune, (got by cullies) I was made a cuckold in earnest; tho’ that was no grievance to me, since it only made me in the mode: nor cou’d I expect any better, since I knew she was a whore before I had her; but ’twas with my betters, and so I was contented her money should pass currant with me, where her reputation would not: but sharping was her best quality, and gaming her greatest patrimony; and she set up a basset table, and whilst I was at the groom-porter’s throwing _a-main_, she would be sure to set me, at home, a pair of horns. I seldom coming to my apartment, but I met some cully nobleman or other; but that which was worst, she still had a knave in her mouth, or an alpue in her tail, that carry’d away all the gain: whilst I was at _Will_’s coffee-house, fast’ned in controversy or poetick rhapsodies, though I had neither religion nor learning, she was sure of me ’till play-time and then too; for at five, come, _Dick_, says I (to a brother of the orange and cravat string) d--me, let’s us to the play: r--t me, says he, ’tis a dull one: d--me, says I, I value not the play, my province lies in the boxes, ogling my half-crown away, or running from side-box to side-box, to the inviting incognito’s in black faces, or else wittily to cry out aloud in the pit, _&c._ _Bough_, or _Boyta_, and then be prettily answer’d by the rest of the wits in the same note, like musical instruments tuned to the same pitch. And whilst I was thus generously employ’d, my consort had her retreat of quality, to be provided of what I fail’d in. From the play to the _Rose_, where we drank ’till four, or break of day; from thence to bed, where we lay ’till four or five again, so _in infinitum_. _1 Beau. Gh._ D--me, _Jack_, did’st ever hear a sot spoil a good tale in the telling so? _2 Beau. Gh._ Z--ns, _Ned_, we’re undone thro’ this scoundrel’s ignorance and nonsense: shall I speak? _1 Beau. Gh._ R--t me, if thou wilt, thou may’st: but I am sure I could make more of it: for tho’ thou art a man of wit, and a good judge of poetry, and all that, r--t me, _Jack_, oratory is thy blind side. _2 Beau. Gh._ D--me, Sir, don’t put upon your friends; for have I been bred at the university, and think myself as good a judge as you or any man alive: and, Sir, were we out of the court, I believe you would not thus have abus’d me. _1 Beau. Gh._ Nay, D--me, _Ned_, now thou art unjust to thy friend: r--t me, to quarrel for’t, I acknowledg’d thee a man of parts, _Ned_, and all that.