The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll, Vol. 05 (of 12): Dresden Edition—DiscussionsIngersoll, Robert Green
Religion
The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll, Vol. 05 (of 12): Dresden Edition—Discussions
Ingersoll, Robert Green
Free thought
_Answer_. My opinion is, that if at that time we
had been at war with England, and a battle had
been commenced in the morning, and in the after-
noon the American forces had been driven from their
position and were hard pressed by the enemy, and
if the day had become suddenly dark, and so dark
that the Americans were thereby enabled to escape,
thousands of theologians of the calibre of Mr. Tal-
mage would have honestly believed that there had
been an interposition of divine Providence. No
battle was fought that day, and consequently, even
the ministers are looking for natural causes. In
olden times, when the heavens were visited by
comets, war, pestilence and famine were predicted.
If wars came, the prediction was remembered; if
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nothing happened, it was forgotten. When eclipses
visited the sun and moon, the barbarian fell upon his
knees, and accounted for the phenomena by the
wickedness of his neighbor. Mr. Talmage tells us
that his father was terrified by the meteoric shower
that visited our earth in 1833. The terror of the
father may account for the credulity of the son.
Astronomers will be surprised to read the declaration
of Mr. Talmage that the meteoric shower has never
been explained. Meteors visit the earth every year
of its life, and in a certain portion of the orbit they
are always expected, and they always come. Mr.
Newcomb has written a work on astronomy that
all ministers ought to read.
_Question_. Mr. Talmage also charges you with
"making light of holy things," and seems to be aston-
ished that you should ridicule the anointing oil of
Aaron?
_Answer_. I find that the God who had no time to
say anything on the subject of slavery, and who found
no room upon the tables of stone to say a word
against polygamy, and in favor of the rights of
woman, wife and mother, took time to give a recipe
for making hair oil. And in order that the priests
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might have the exclusive right to manufacture this oil,
decreed the penalty of death on all who should
infringe. I admit that I am incapable of seeing the
beauty of this symbol. Neither could I ever see the
necessity of Masons putting oil on the corner-stone
of a building. Of course, I do not know the exact
chemical effect that oil has on stone, and I see no harm
in laughing at such a ceremony. If the oil does good,
the laughter will do no harm; and if the oil will do no
harm, the laughter will do no good. Personally, I am
willing that Masons should put oil on all stones; but,
if Masons should insist that I must believe in the effi-
cacy of the ceremony, or be eternally damned, I
would have about the same feeling toward the
Masons that I now have toward Mr. Talmage. I
presume that at one time the putting of oil on a
corner-stone had some meaning; but that it ever did
any good, no sensible man will insist. It is a custom
to break a bottle of champagne over the bow of
a newly-launched ship, but I have never considered
this ceremony important to the commercial interests
of the world.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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