The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll, Vol. 08 (of 12): Dresden Edition—InterviewsIngersoll, Robert Green
Religion
The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll, Vol. 08 (of 12): Dresden Edition—Interviews
Ingersoll, Robert Green
Free thought
tells us how we lost immortality. You will recollect that if Adam
and Eve could have gotten to the Tree of Life, they would have
eaten of its fruit and would have lived forever; but for the purpose
of preventing immortality God turned them out of the Garden of
Eden, and put certain angels with swords or sabres at the gate to
keep them from getting back. The Old Testament proves, if it proves
anything--which I do not think it does--that there is no life after
this; and the New Testament is not very specific on the subject.
There were a great many opportunities for the Saviour and his
apostles to tell us about another world, but they did not improve
them to any great extent; and the only evidence, so far as I know,
about another life is, first, that we have no evidence; and,
secondly, that we are rather sorry that we have not, and wish we
had. That is about my position.
_Question_. According to your observation of men, and your reading
in relation to the men and women of the world and of the church,
if there is another world divided according to orthodox principles
between the orthodox and heterodox, which of the two that are known
as heaven and hell would contain, in your judgment, the most good
society?
_Answer_. Since hanging has got to be a means of grace, I would
prefer hell. I had a thousand times rather associate with the
Pagan philosophers than with the inquisitors of the Middle Ages.
I certainly should prefer the worst man in Greek or Roman history
to John Calvin; and I can imagine no man in the world that I would
not rather sit on the same bench with than the Puritan fathers and
the founders of orthodox churches. I would trade off my harp any
minute for a seat in the other country. All the poets will be in
perdition, and the greatest thinkers, and, I should think, most of
the women whose society would tend to increase the happiness of
man; nearly all the painters, nearly all the sculptors, nearly all
the writers of plays, nearly all the great actors, most of the best
musicians, and nearly all the good fellows--the persons who know
stories, who can sing songs, or who will loan a friend a dollar.
They will mostly all be in that country, and if I did not live
there permanently, I certainly would want it so I could spend my
winter months there. But, after all, what I really want to do is
to destroy the idea of eternal punishment. That doctrine subverts
all ideas of justice. That doctrine fills hell with honest men,
and heaven with intellectual and moral paupers. That doctrine
allows people to sin on credit. That doctrine allows the basest
to be eternally happy and the most honorable to suffer eternal
pain. I think of all doctrines it is the most infinitely infamous,
and would disgrace the lowest savage; and any man who believes it,
and has imagination enough to understand it, has the heart of a
serpent and the conscience of a hyena.
_Question_. Your objective point is to destroy the doctrine of
hell, is it?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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