The Works of Robert Louis Stevenson - Swanston Edition, Vol. 04Stevenson, Robert Louis
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The Works of Robert Louis Stevenson - Swanston Edition, Vol. 04
Stevenson, Robert Louis
English literature -- 19th century; Short stories
"You will, I am sure, pardon my curiosity. What I have seen of you has
greatly pleased but even more puzzled me. And though I should be loth to
seem indiscreet, I must tell you that my friend and I are persons very
well worthy to be entrusted with a secret. We have many of our own,
which we are continually revealing to improper ears. And if, as I
suppose, your story is a silly one, you need have no delicacy with us,
who are two of the silliest men in England. My name is Godall,
Theophilus Godall; my friend is Major Alfred Hammersmith--or at least,
such is the name by which he chooses to be known. We pass our lives
entirely in the search for extravagant adventures; and there is no
extravagance with which we are not capable of sympathy."
"I like you, Mr. Godall," returned the young man; "you inspire me with a
natural confidence; and I have not the slightest objection to your
friend the Major, whom I take to be a nobleman in masquerade. At least,
I am sure he is no soldier."
The Colonel smiled at this compliment to the perfection of his art; and
the young man went on in a more animated manner.
"There is every reason why I should not tell you my story. Perhaps that
is just the reason why I am going to do so. At least, you seem so well
prepared to hear a tale of silliness that I cannot find it in my heart
to disappoint you. My name, in spite of your example, I shall keep to
myself. My age is not essential to the narrative. I am descended from my
ancestors by ordinary generation, and from them I inherited the very
eligible human tenement which I still occupy and a fortune of three
hundred pounds a year. I suppose they also handed on to me a harebrain
humour, which it has been my chief delight to indulge. I received a good
education. I can play the violin nearly well enough to earn money in the
orchestra of a penny gaff, but not quite. The same remark applies to the
flute and the French horn. I learned enough of whist to lose about a
hundred a year at that scientific game. My acquaintance with French was
sufficient to enable me to squander money in Paris with almost the same
facility as in London. In short, I am a person full of manly
accomplishments. I have had every sort of adventure, including a duel
about nothing. Only two months ago I met a young lady exactly suited to
my taste in mind and body; I found my heart melt; I saw that I had come
upon my fate at last, and was in the way to fall in love. But when I
came to reckon up what remained to me of my capital, I found it amounted
to something less than four hundred pounds! I ask you fairly--can a man
who respects himself fall in love on four hundred pounds? I concluded,
certainly not; left the presence of my charmer, and slightly
accelerating my usual rate of expenditure, came this morning to my last
eighty pounds. This I divided into two equal parts; forty I reserved for
a particular purpose; the remaining forty I was to dissipate before the
night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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