“I steal the bunnia's grain at morn, at noon and eventide, (For he is fat and I am spare), I roam the mountain side, I follow no man's carriage, and no, never in my life Have I flirted at Peliti's with another Bandar's wife. “O man of futile fopperies--unnecessary wraps; I own no ponies in the hills, I drive no tall-wheeled traps; I buy me not twelve-button gloves, 'short-sixes' eke, or rings, Nor do I waste at Hamilton's my wealth on 'pretty things.' “I quarrel with my wife at home, we never fight abroad; But Mrs. B. has grasped the fact I am her only lord. I never heard of fever--dumps nor debts depress my soul; And I pity and despise you!” Here he poached my breakfast-roll. His hide was very mangy, and his face was very red, And ever and anon he scratched with energy his head. His manners were not always nice, but how my spirit cried To be an artless Bandar loose upon the mountain side! So I answered: “Gentle Bandar, an inscrutable Decree Makes thee a gleesome fleasome Thou, and me a wretched Me. Go! Depart in peace, my brother, to thy home amid the pine; Yet forget not once a mortal wished to change his lot for thine.” THE MASQUE OF PLENTY Argument.--The Indian Government being minded to discover the economic condition of their lands, sent a Committee to inquire into it; and saw that it was good. Scene.--The wooded heights of Simla. The Incarnation of the Government of India in the raiment of the Angel of Plenty sings, to pianoforte accompaniment:-- “How sweet is the shepherd's sweet life! From the dawn to the even he strays-- And his tongue shall be filled with praise. (adagio dim.) Filled with praise!” (largendo con sp.) Now this is the position, Go make an inquisition Into their real condition As swiftly as ye may. (p) Ay, paint our swarthy billions The richest of vermillions Ere two well-led cotillions Have danced themselves away. Turkish Patrol, as able and intelligent Investigators wind down the Himalayas:-- What is the state of the Nation? What is its occupation? Hi! get along, get along, get along--lend us the information! (dim.) Census the byle and the yabu--capture a first-class Babu, Set him to file Gazetteers--Gazetteers... (ff) What is the state of the Nation, etc., etc. Interlude, from Nowhere in Particular, to stringed and Oriental instruments. Our cattle reel beneath the yoke they bear-- The earth is iron and the skies are brass-- And faint with fervour of the flaming air The languid hours pass. The well is dry beneath the village tree-- The young wheat withers ere it reach a span, And belts of blinding sand show cruelly Where once the river ran.