Friday, May 16. I enjoyed some agreeable conversation with a dear minister, which was blessed to my soul; my heart was warmed, and my soul engaged to live to God; so that I longed to exert myself with more vigour, than ever I had done in his cause; and those words were quickening to me, “Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bring forth much fruit.” Oh, my soul longed, and wished, and prayed, to be enabled to live to God with constancy and ardour! In the evening, God was pleased to shine upon me in secret prayer, and draw out my soul after himself: and I had freedom in supplication for myself, but much more in intercession for others: so that I was sweetly constrained to say, “Lord, use me as thou wilt; do as thou wilt with me: but Oh, promote thine own cause! Zion is thine; Oh visit thine heritage! Oh let thy kingdom come! Oh let thy blessed interest be advanced in the world!” When I attempted to look to God, respecting my settling in my congregation, which seems to be necessary, and yet contrary to my fixed intention for years past, as well as my disposition, which has been, and still is, to spend my life in preaching the gospel from place to place, and gathering souls _afar off_ to Jesus the great Redeemer; when I attempted to look to God with regard to these things, I could only say, “The will of the Lord be done: it is no matter for me.” *The same frame of mind I felt with respect to another important affair I have lately had some serious thoughts of: I could say, with the utmost calmness and composure, “Lord, if it be most for thy glory, let me proceed in it: but if thou seest that it will in any wise hinder my usefulness in thy cause, Oh prevent my proceeding: for all I want, is such circumstances as may best capacitate me to do service for God in the world.” Oh, how sweet was this evening to my soul! I knew not how to go to bed; and when got to bed, longed for some way to employ time for God to some excellent purpose. Saturday, May 17. I walked out in the morning, and felt much of the same frame I enjoyed the evening before: had my heart enlarged in praying for the advancement of the kingdom of Christ, and found the utmost freedom in leaving all my concerns with God. *I find _discouragement_ to be an exceeding _hindrance_ to my spiritual fervency and affection: but when God enables me to find that I have done something for him, this animates me, so that I could break through all hardships, undergo any labours, and nothing seems too much either to do or suffer. But Oh, what a death it is, to strive, and strive; to be always in a _hurry_, and yet do _nothing_. Alas, alas, that time flies away, and I do so little for God!