About the 15th of April 1733, I removed to East-Haddam, where I spent four years. Here I went a round of secret duty. I was not much addicted to young company: but when I did go into it, it always added new guilt to me, and made me afraid to come to the throne of grace. About the latter end of April 1737, being full nineteen, I removed to Durham, and began to work on my farm, and so continued till I was twenty years old; tho’ frequently longing after a liberal education. When I was about twenty, I applied myself to study, and was engaged more than ever in the duties of religion. I became very watchful over my thoughts, words and actions, because I designed to devote myself to the ministry. Some time in April 1738, I went to Mr. Fiske’s, and lived with him during his life¹. He advised me wholly to abandon young company, and associate myself with grave elderly people: which counsel I followed; and my manner of life was now exceeding regular. I read my bible more than twice through in less than a year. I spent much time every day in secret-duties; I gave great attention to the word preached, and endeavoured to retain it. I agreed with some young persons to meet on sabbath-evenings for religious exercises; and after our meeting was ended, I used to repeat the discourses of the day to myself, though sometimes it was late in the night. On Monday mornings I used to recollect the same sermons. And I had sometimes considerable movings of affections in duties, and much pleasure therein. ¹ Mr. Fiske was pastor of the church in Haddam. After Mr. Fiske’s death, I proceeded in my learning with my brother, and was still very constant in religious duties. Thus I proceeded on a _self-righteous_ foundation;¹ and should still had not the mere mercy of God prevented. ¹ I doubt that: I believe, this was true religion as far as it went. In the beginning of winter, 1738, it pleased God one sabbath-day morning, as I was walking out for secret duties, to give me on a sudden, such a sense of my danger, and the wrath of God, that I stood amazed, and was much distressed all that day, fearing the vengeance of God would soon overtake me. I kept much alone, and sometimes grudged the birds and beasts their happiness, because they were not exposed to eternal misery, as I saw I was. And thus I lived from day to day, in great distress: sometimes there appeared mountains before me to obstruct my hopes of mercy; I used, however to pray and cry to God, and perform other duties with great earnestness.