Lord’s day, January 27. I had the greatest degree of inward anguish, that ever I endured: I was perfectly overwhelmed, and so confused, that after I began to discourse to the Indians, before I could finish a sentence, sometimes I forgot entirely what I was aiming at. This distressing gloom never went off the whole day: but was so far removed, that I was enabled to speak with some freedom to the Indians, at two of their settlements; and there was some appearance, of the presence of God with us. In the evening the gloom continued still, till at family-prayer,¹ when I was praying for the conversion of my poor people, the cloud was scattered, so that I enjoyed sweetness and freedom, and conceived hopes that God designed mercy for them. ¹ Though Mr. Brainerd now dwelt by himself in the little cottage, which he had built for his own use; yet that was near a _family_ of white people with whom he had lived before, and with whom he still attended family-prayer. Lord’s-day, February 3. In the morning, I was somewhat relieved of that gloom, that my mind has of late been exercised with; and was enabled to pray with composure and comfort. But, however, I went to my Indians trembling; for my soul “remembered the wormwood and the gall” of Friday last; and I was greatly afraid I should be obliged again to drink of that _cup of trembling_, which was inconceivably more bitter than death. But God was pleased to hear my cries, and to afford me great assistance; so that I felt peace in my soul; and was satisfied, that if not one of the Indians should be profited yet I should be accepted and rewarded as faithful. *Monday, February 11. In the evening I was in a most solemn frame: I know not that ever death appeared more real to me, or that ever I saw myself in the condition of a dead corpse, laid out, and dressed for a lodging in the silent grave, so evidently. And yet I felt exceedingly comfortable; my mind was composed and calm, and _death_ appeared _without a sting_. I never felt such an universal mortification to all created objects. Oh, how great and solemn a thing it appeared to die! How it lays the greatest honour in the dust! And how vain and trifling did the riches, honours, and pleasures of the world appear! I could not so much as think of any of them; for _death, death_, solemn (though not frightful) _death_ appeared at the door. I could see myself laid out, and inclosed in my coffin, and put down into the cold grave, without terror! I spent the evening in conversing with a Christian friend; and it was a comfortable evening to us both.――What are friends? What are comforts? What are sorrows? What are distresses?――――“The time is short: it remains, that they that weep, be as though they wept not; and they which rejoice, as though they rejoiced not: for the fashion of this world passeth away. O come, Lord Jesus, come quickly.”