Wednesday, January 9. In the morning, God was pleased to remove that gloom which has of late oppressed my mind, and gave me freedom and sweetness in prayer. I was encouraged to plead for grace for myself, and mercy for my poor Indians: and was sweetly assisted in my intercessions with God for others. Those things that of late have appeared almost impossible, were now not only possible, but easy. My soul so much delighted to continue instant in prayer, that I had no desire for my _necessary food_: yea, I dreaded leaving off praying, lest I should lose this spirituality, and this blessed thankfulness. I felt now quite willing to live, and undergo all trials that might remain for me in a world of sorrow; but still longed for heaven, that I might glorify God in a perfect manner. Monday, January 14. I spent this day under a great degree of bodily disorder. It pains me, that I live so much of my time for nothing. I long to do much in a little time, and if it might be the Lord’s will, to _finish my work_ speedily in this tiresome world. I am sure, I do not desire to live for any thing in this world; and through grace I am not afraid to look the _king of terrors_ in the face: I know, I shall be afraid, if God leaves me; and therefore I think it is always my duty to lay in for that solemn hour. *But for a considerable time, my soul has rejoiced to think of death in its nearest approaches; and even when I have been very weak, and seemed nearest eternity. “Not unto me, not unto me, but to God be the glory.” I feel that which convinces me, that if God do not enable me to maintain a holy dependence upon him, death will be a terror, but at present, I must say, “I long to depart, and to be with Christ.” When I am in a sweet resigned frame of soul, I am willing to tarry in a world of sorrow, I am willing to be from home as long as God sees fit; but when I want the influence of this temper, I am then apt to be impatient to be gone.――Oh when will the day appear, that I shall be perfect in holiness. Wednesday and Thursday, January 16, 17. I spent most of the time in writing on a divine subject, and enjoyed freedom and assistance. O what reason have I to be thankful, that God ever helps me to labour and study for him! He does but _receive his own_, when I am enabled in any measure to praise him, labour for him, and live to him.