He indeed behaved soberly, (although before he had been a hard drinker) and seemed honestly engaged as far he was capable in the performance of his work, and especially he was very desirous that the Indians should conform to the customs of the Christian world. But still seemed to have no concern about his own soul. Near the latter end of July 1744, I preached to an assembly of white people, with freedom and fervency: at which time he was present, and was somewhat awakened; so that the next day he discoursed freely with me and gave me an opportunity to fasten the impressions upon his mind: and I could plainly perceive after this, that he addressed the Indians with more concern and fervency. But these impressions seemed to decline, till in the fall of the year following he fell into a weak state of body. At this season divine truth took hold of him and made deep impressions upon his mind. He was under great concern for his soul, and was burdened from day to day. At length his sleep departed from him, and he had little rest day or night; but walked about under great pressure of mind, and appeared like another man to his neighbours who could not but observe his behaviour with wonder. After he had been sometime striving for mercy, he says, there seemed to be an impassable mountain before him. He was pressing towards heaven, but “his way was hedged up with thorns, that he could not stir an inch farther.” He looked this way and that way, but could find no way at all. He felt it signified just nothing at all to strive and struggle any more. And here he says, he gave over striving, and felt that it was a gone case with him, and that all his attempts were, and for ever would be vain and fruitless. He knew, he said, he was not guilty of such actions as others were guilty of. He had not been used to steal, quarrel, and murder; which is common among the Indians. He likewise knew that he had done many things that were right. But still his cry was, “that he had never done one good thing,” (meaning that he had never done any thing from a right _principle_, though he had done many things that were _materially_ good.) And now I thought, said he, that I must sink down to hell, that there was no hope for me, “because I never could do any thing that was good;” and if God let me alone never so long, still I should do nothing but what is bad. There was one thing more in his view of things that was very remarkable. He not only saw, what a miserable state he himself was in, but he saw the world around him were in the same perishing circumstances. And this he saw clearly, “as if he was now awaked out of sleep, or had a cloud taken from before his eyes.” He saw that the life he had lived was the way to eternal death, that he was now on the brink of endless misery: and when he looked round he saw multitudes of others who had lived the same life with himself, had no more goodness than he, and yet dreamed that they were safe enough, as he had formerly done.