“When Alderman B. was elected Mayor, to give greater éclat to his banquet, he sent for Dobbs, the most celebrated cook of that time, to take the command of the kitchen. Dobbs was quite an enthusiast in his art, and some culinary deficiencies on the part of the ordinary Mansion-House professors driving him at least to desperation, he leapt upon one of the dressers, and began an oration to them, by this energetic apostrophe,--‘Gentlemen! do you call yourselves cooks!’” * * * * * “One of the present Household titles in the Mansion-House establishment was of singular origin. When the celebrated men in armour were first exhibited, Alderman P., who happened to be with his Lordship previous to the procession, was extremely curious in examining the suits of mail, &c., expressing, at the same time, an eager desire to try on one of the helmets. The Mayor, with his usual consideration, insisted on first sending it down to the kitchen to be aired, after which process the ambition of the Alderman met with its gratification. For some little time he did not perceive any inconvenience from his new beaver, but by degrees the enclosure became first uncomfortably, and then intolerably warm; the confined heat being aggravated by his violent but vain struggles to undo the unaccustomed fastenings. An armourer was obliged to be sent for before his face could be let out, red and rampant as a Brentford Lion from its iron cage. It appeared, that in the hurry of the Pageant, the chief Cook had clapped the casque upon the fire, and thus found out a recipe for stewing an Alderman’s head in its own steam, and for which feat he has retained the title of the Head-Cook, ever since!” * * * * * “G. the Common-council-man, was a Warden of his own Company, the Merchant Tailors’. At one of their frequent Festivals, he took with him, to the dinner, a relation, an officer of the tenth foot. By some blunder, the soldier was taken for one of the fraternity, but G. hastened to correct the mistake:--‘Gentlemen, this isn’t one of the Ninth parts of a man--he’s one of the Tenth!’” “One day there was a dispute, as to the difficulty of Catch-Singing, Alderman B. struck in, ‘Go to Cheshire the Hangman--he’ll prove to you there’s a good deal of _Execution_ in a _Catch_.’” [Illustration: “A REPORT ON THE FARM.”] A ZOOLOGICAL REPORT. _To Harvey Williams, Esq., Regent’s Terrace, Portland Park._ HONNERED SUR,