In plucking out his handkerchief from one of his capacious coat pockets, the Bandana tumbled out with it a large roll of manuscript; and as he proceeded a good hundred yards before he discovered the loss, I had ample time before he struggled back, in his Crawly Common pace, to the spot, to give the paper a hasty perusal, and even to make a few random extracts. The MS. purported to be a Collection of Civic Facetiæ, from the Mayoralty of Alderman * * * * up to the present time: and, from certain hints scattered up and down, the Recorder evidently considered himself to have been, for wise saws or witty, the Top Sawyer. Not to forestal the pleasure of self-publication, I shall avoid all that are, or may be, his own sayings, and give only such _jeux de mots_ as have a distinct parentage. EXTRACTS FROM THE MS. “Alderman F. was very hard of hearing, and Alderman B. was very hard on his infirmity. One day, a dumb man was brought to the Justice-room charged with passing bad notes. B. declined to enter upon the case. ‘Go to Alderman F.,’ he said: ‘when a dumb man _utters_, a deaf one ought to hear it.’” * * * * * “B. was equally hard on Alderman V.’s linen-drapery. One day he came late into Court. ‘I have just come,’ said he, ‘from V.’s villa. He had family prayers last night, and began thus--Now let us read the Psalm Nunc _Dimities_.’” * * * * * “Old S., the tobacconist of Holborn Hill, wore his own hair tied behind in a queue, and had a favourite seat in the shop, with his back to the window. Alderman B. pointed him out once to me. ‘Look! there he is, as usual, advertising his _pigtail_.’” * * * * * “Alderman A. was never very remarkable for his skill in orthography. A note of his writing is still extant, requesting a brother magistrate to preside for him, and giving, _literatim_, the following reason for his own absence:--‘Jackson the painter is to take me off in my Rob of Office, and I am gone to give him a _cit_.’ His pronunciation was equally original. I remember his asking Alderman C., just before the 9th of November, whether he should have any men in armour in his _shew_.” * * * * * “Guildhall and its images were always uppermost with Alderman A. It was he who so misquoted Shakspeare--‘A Parish Beadle, when he’s trod upon, feels as much corporal suffering as Gog and Magog.’” * * * * * “A well-known editor of a morning paper enquired of Alderman B., one day, what he thought of his journal. ‘I like it all,’ said the Alderman, ‘but its _Broken English_.’ The editor stared and asked for an explanation. ‘Why, the _List of Bankrupts_, to be sure!’” * * * * *