The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original IllustrationsHood, Thomas
General
The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
We have fixed our Settlement on the left bank of the river. In
crossing the rapids we lost most of our heavy baggage and all our
iron work, but by great good fortune we saved Mrs. Paisley’s grand
piano and the children’s toys. Our infant city consists of three log
huts and one of clay, which, however, on the second day, fell in to
the ground landlords. We have now built it up again;--and, all things
considered, are as comfortable as we could expect--and have christened
our settlement New London, in compliment to the Old Metropolis. We
have one of the log houses to ourselves--or at least shall have when
we have built a new hog-sty. We burnt down the first one in making a
bonfire to keep off the wild beasts, and for the present the pigs are
in the parlour. As yet our rooms are rather usefully than elegantly
furnished. We have gutted the Grand Upright, and it makes a convenient
cupboard,--the chairs were obliged to blaze at our bivouacs, but thank
Heaven we have never leisure to sit down, and so do not miss them.
My boys are contented, and will be well when they have got over some
awkward accidents in lopping and felling. Mrs. P. grumbles a little,
but it is her custom to lament most when she is in the midst of
comforts. She complains of solitude, and says she could enjoy the very
stiffest of stiff visits.
[Illustration: A STIFF VISIT.]
The first time we lighted a fire in our new abode, a large serpent came
down the chimney, which I looked upon as a good omen. However, as Mrs.
P. is not partial to snakes, and the heat is supposed to attract those
reptiles, we have dispensed with fires ever since. As for wild beasts,
we hear them howling and roaring round the fence every night from dusk
till daylight, but we have only been inconvenienced by one Lion. The
first time he came, in order to get rid of the brute peaceably, we
turned out an old ewe, with which he was well satisfied;--but ever
since he comes to us as regular as clock-work for his mutton; and if
we do not soon contrive to cut his acquaintance, we shall hardly have
a sheep in the flock. It would have been easy to shoot him, being well
provided with muskets, but Barnaby mistook our remnant of gunpowder
for onion seed, and sowed it all in the kitchen garden. We did try to
trap him into a pitfall; but after twice catching Mrs. P., and every
one of the children in turn, it was given up. They are now, however,
perfectly at ease about the animal, for they never stir out of doors
at all, and to make them quite comfortable, I have blocked up all the
windows and barricaded the door.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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