The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original IllustrationsHood, Thomas
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The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
My old Schoolmaster is dead. He “died of a stroke;” and I wonder
none of his pupils have ever done the same. I have been flogged by
many masters, but his rod, like Aaron’s, swallowed up all the rest.
We have often wished that he whipped on the principle of Italian
penmanship,--up strokes heavy and down strokes light; but he did it in
English round hand, and we used to think with a very hard pen. Such was
his love of flogging, that for some failure in English composition,
after having been well corrected I have been ordered to be revised.
I have heard of a road to learning, and he did justice to it; we
certainly never went a stage in education without being well horsed.
The mantle of Dr. Busby descended on his shoulders, and on ours. There
was but one tree in the play-ground--a birch, but it never had a twig
or leaf upon it. Spring or summer it always looked as bare as if the
weather had been cutting at the latter end of the year. Pictures they
say are incentives to learning, and certainly we never got through a
page without cuts; for instance, I do not recollect a Latin article
without a tail-piece. All the Latin at that school might be comprised
in one line--
“Arma virumque cano.”
An arm, a man, and a cane. It was Englished to me one day in school
hours, when I was studying Robinson Crusoe instead of Virgil, by a
storm of bamboo that really carried on the illusion, and made me think
for the time that I was assaulted by a set of savages. He seemed to
consider a boy as a bear’s cub, and set himself literally to lick him
into shape. He was so particularly fond of striking us with a leather
strap on the flats of our hands that he never allowed them a day’s
rest. There was no such thing as a Palm Sunday in our calendar. In one
word, he was disinterestedly cruel, and used as industriously to strike
for nothing as other workmen strike for wages. Some of the elder boys,
who had read Smollett, christened him Roderick, from his often hitting
like Random, and being so partial to Strap.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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