The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 02 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original IllustrationsHood, Thomas
General
The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 02 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
In short each anxious Kangaroo
Discuss’d the matter through and through;
By day they seem’d to get no nearer,
’Twas posing quite--
And in the night
Of course they saw their way no clearer!
At last thus musing on their knees--
Or hinder elbows if you please--
It came--no thought was ever brighter!
In weighing every why and whether,
They jump’d upon it both together--
“Let’s make the imp a _short-hand writer_!”
MORAL.
I wish all human parents so
Would argue what their sons are fit for;
Some would-be critics that I know
Would be in trades they have more wit for.
LITERARY REMINISCENCES.
No. II.
TO do justice to the climate of “stout and original Scotland,” it
promised to act kindly by the constitution committed to its care. The
air evidently agreed with the natives; and auld Robin Grays and John
Andersons were plenty as blackberries, and Auld Lang Syne himself
seemed to walk, bonneted, amongst these patriarchal figures in the
likeness of an old man covered with a mantle. The effect on myself
was rather curious--for I seemed to have come amongst a generation
that scarcely belonged to my era; mature spinsters, waning bachelors,
very motherly matrons, and experienced fathers, that I should have
set down as uncles and aunts, called themselves my cousins; reverend
personages, apparently grandfathers and grandmothers, were simply
great uncles and aunts: and finally I enjoyed an interview with a
relative oftener heard of traditionally, than encountered in the
body--a great-great grandmother--still a tall woman and a tolerable
pedestrian, going indeed down the hill, but with the wheel well
locked. It was like coming amongst the Struldbrugs; and truly, for any
knowledge to the contrary, many of these Old Mortalities are still
living, enjoying their sneeshing, their toddy, their cracks, and
particular reminiscences. The very phrase of being “Scotch’d, but not
killed,” seems to refer to this Caledonian tenacity of life, of which
the well-known Walking Stewart was an example: he was an annuitant in
the County-office, and as the actuaries would say, died very hard. It
must be difficult for the teatotallers to reconcile this longevity with
the imputed enormous consumption of ardent spirits beyond the Tweed.
Scotia, according to the evidence of Mr. Buckingham’s committee, is an
especially drouthie bodie, who drinks whiskey at christenings, and at
buryings, and on all possible occasions besides. Her sons drink not by
the hour or by the day, but by the week,--witness Souter Johnny:--
“Tam lo’ed him like a vera brither,
They had been fou for weeks thegither.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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