The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 02 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original IllustrationsHood, Thomas
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The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 02 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
What a sight! Here is the tiller tied hard a-port, or hard a-lee, as
hard as they can tie it. Further back is the Skipper himself, entangled
dismally by some cord or other to the stern-rails; and yonder is his
mate, with a hundred and fifty turns of rope round himself and the
mizen-mast, which he seems trying to strengthen. The gunner, as I take
him to be, with a preposterous superfluity of breeching, is made fast
to look through a hole, which seems to have been meant for a window to
a cannon; and the carpenter, well pinioned and tethered by a stout
rope to the back-stay, is sheepishly dangling therefrom, whenever his
side of the ship is uppermost, like unto the Lamb of the Order of the
Golden Fleece. The cook, having given away both his hands, is spliced,
as if for life, unto the capstan. Adam Vaart is double-turned and
double-knotted to the main-mast, and Hendrick his brother is belayed
down, on the broad of his back, in the place of the lost long-boat.
Should the anchor be dropped, Jan Bart is sure, even from head to foot,
to go along with it. Poor little Yacob Yops, the apprentice, hath
been turned over, and re-bound into a ring-bolt, by articles which
are called rope-yarns; and lo, up yonder, lashed by his legs to the
rattlines, hangs Diedrick Dumm-Kopf, head downwards, like a split cod
left there to dry, in the main shrouds!
Oh! that I were bound myself round and round all the ribs, from the top
to the bottom, with good six-twist, lest even thus, in articulo mortis,
I burst, split my sides, and die with excess of laughter. The Skipper,
honest Hans, with much difficulty, for he grievously mistrusts his
breathing to the beating of the wave, opening his mouth when it comes,
and sealing up his lips when it is gone, hath let me into the whole
secret. Considering the wild sea, he saith, and that no man can tie
himself so surely as another man can, to some more steadfast substance,
they had been all fastened, at their own special wish and agreement,
to such hold-fasts as pleased them best, by Diedrick Dumm-Kopf, who
was afterwards to provide for his safety as he judged surest, in order
that he might liberate them again when the storm should be blown over.
That accordingly, after first tying them all as securely as he was
able, the said Diedrick betook himself to the main rigging, about half
way up, to which he lashed himself by the ankles, holding on likewise
with his hands, and his great clasp-knife in his mouth. That the Jung
Vrouw driving before the wind and sea, they made shift, as they were to
navigate her pretty comfortably for some twenty minutes or thereby,
when all of a sudden they saw Diedrick, being seized with a vertigo,
let go his hold and drop into his present posture, from which he could
never recover himself; and it was that dismal sight which had extorted
the universal outcry that I heard.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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