The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 02 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original IllustrationsHood, Thomas
General
The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 02 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
I did not enter the House of Lords, which was now one mass of glowing
fire, but directed my attention towards the Speaker’s mansion, which
was partially burning. The garden behind was nearly filled with
miscellaneous property--and numbers of well-dressed gentlemen were
every moment rushing into the house, from which they issued again,
laden with spits, sauce-pans, and other culinary implements. I, myself,
saw one zealous individual thus encumbered--with a stew-pan on his
head, the meat-screen under one arm, the dripping-pan under the other,
the frying-pan in his right hand, the grid-iron in his left, and the
rolling-pin in his mouth. Indeed, it is said that every article in the
kitchen was saved down to the salt-box; and the cook declares that such
was the anxiety to save her she was “cotched up in twelve gentlemen’s
arms, and never felt her feet till the corner of Abingdon Street.”
The whole of the Foot Guards were in attendance, as well as a
great number of the police, but the thieves had mustered in great
force, and there was a good deal of plundering, which was however
checked temporarily by a gentleman said to be one of the members and
magistrates for Essex, who jumped up on a railing and addressed the
populace to the following effect, “How do you hall dare!”
The origin of the fire is involved in much mystery; nor is it correctly
ascertained by whom it was first discovered. Some say that one of the
serjeants, in taking up the insignia, was astonished to find the mace
as hot as ginger. Others relate that a Mr. Spell, or Shell, or Snell,
whilst viewing the House, although no dancer, began suddenly, and in
his boots, to the utter amazement of his companions and Mrs. Wright,
the housekeeper, to jump and caper like a bear upon a hotted floor.
This story certainly seems to countenance a report that the mischief
originated in the warming apparatus, an opinion that is very current,
but, for my own part, I cannot conceive that the Collective Wisdom,
which knows how to lay down laws for us all, should not know how to lay
down flues. Rumours of Incendiarism are also very generally prevalent,
and stories are in circulation of the finding of half-burnt matches and
other combustibles. But these facts rest on very frail foundations. The
links said to have been found in the Speaker’s garden have turned out
to be nothing but German sausages; and another cock-and-a-bull that has
got abroad will probably come to no better end. A Mr. Dudley affirms
that he smelt the fire before it broke out, at Cooper’s Hill; but such
olfactories are too much like manufactories to be believed.
I am, Sir, your most obedient Servant,
X. Y. Z.
_Another Account._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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