The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): RuthWassermann, Jakob
General
The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): Ruth
Wassermann, Jakob
German fiction -- Translations into English
Johanna felt the same consternation this time that she had felt
months before when Voss had written her in Christian’s stead. First
she thought he had perpetrated a hoax. But when she read the letters
she was convinced of their authenticity and deeply moved. Voss’s
indications left no doubt as to their origin; again he had stolen
another’s secret in order to make use of it. His motives seemed
inexplicable to her. But she promised herself not to see him again,
whatever happened. The very thought of him made her freeze. The morbid
and heated hatred of Christian which he always manifested made her
reconsider. At moments she nursed the flattering delusion that she
might be the means of saving Christian from a great danger. And yet,
somehow, the man himself exerted the stronger lure. There was a will
in him! A strange temptation--to feel the compulsion of an alien will!
Whither would it lead?
Thus when, against her determination and her better instinct, she
entered the house on Ansbacher Street once more, she said to herself:
“O Rumpelstiltzkin, I’m afraid you’re rushing into destruction. But run
on and be destroyed. Then, at least, something will have happened.”
She carried the letters back to him. She asked coldly what had been his
intention in sending them. She feigned not to hear his answer that his
letter had explained his intention. She refused to sit down. Voss tried
to find a subject of conversation; he walked up and down before her
like a sentinel. In her mind she passed caustic comments on him; she
observed the negligence of his clothes, and thought his way of swinging
on his heel and suddenly rubbing his hands absurd. Everything about
him seemed silly and comical to her. She mocked at him to herself: “A
schoolmaster who has gone a little crazy.”
He told her he had made up his mind to move to Zehlendorf. Out there he
had found a peaceful attic room in a villa. He felt the need of trees
and fields, at least of their odour. In the morning he would ride in to
attend lectures and in the afternoon return. Even if this plan could
not be carried out daily, yet he would have the consolation of knowing
that he had a refuge beyond this stony pandemonium which tasted of
maltreated minds and of ink. He would move in two weeks.
“All the better.” The words slipped out before Johanna was aware.
“What do you mean by that?” he asked, with a cattish look. Then he
laughed, and his laughter sounded like the clashing of shards. “Ah,”
he said, and stopped, “do you really think the distance will make any
difference? You will come to me, I assure you; and you will come not
only when I summon you, but of your own impulse. So please don’t cling
to a delusive hope.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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