The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): RuthWassermann, Jakob
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The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): Ruth
Wassermann, Jakob
German fiction -- Translations into English
Susan was waiting in the room with the Arabic frescoes. Walking up and
down with the stride of a dervish, she fought against her darkening
fears. The flame was burning low. How was it with Lucas Anselmo? Her
deep awareness of him, her sense of living for him, had not grown
feebler during these years of radiance and fulfilment. The dancer who
was his work, into whom he had breathed the breath of life and art, had
been to her, now as before, the assurance of his being and the message
of his soul. And what was happening now? Darkness was creeping on; the
shadow-creature of his making drooped in its lovely motions. Was the
hand that had formed and commanded it stricken and cold? Had that lofty
spirit grown weary, and lost the strength to project itself afar? Had
the end come?
Eva entered. She was startled by Susan’s appearance, and sat down on a
couch, at whose head stood glowing hortensias that were renewed each
morning. The sea wind had chilled her. The eyes in their carven hollows
were stern. “What do you want?” she asked.
“I think we ought to leave,” Susan answered. “It is foolish to delay.
The small military escort that is on the way from Yalta could not
protect us if the castle were to be attacked.”
“What are you afraid of?” Eva asked again. “Of men?”
“Yes, I am afraid of men; and it is a very reasonable fear. Use your
imagination, and think of their bodies and voices. We ought to leave.”
“It is foolish to be afraid of men,” Eva insisted, leaning her arm on
the pillows and her head upon her hand.
Susan said: “But you too are afraid. Or what is it? What is happening
to you? Is it fear? What are you afraid of?”
“Afraid ... yes, I am afraid,” Eva murmured. “Of what? I don’t know. Of
shadows and dreams. Something has gone from me; my guardian deity has
fled. That makes me afraid.”
Susan trembled at these confirmatory words. “Shall we order our boxes
packed?” she asked humbly.
Overhearing her question Eva continued: “Fear grows from guilt. Look
you, I wander about here, and am guilty. I open my garment because it
binds me, and feel my guilt. I stretch out my hand after one of those
blue blossoms, and know my guilt. I think and think, and brood and
brood, and cannot fathom the reason. The innermost, ultimate reason--I
cannot find it.”
“Guilt?” Susan stammered in her consternation. “Guilty? You? Child,
what are you saying? You are ill! Dearest, sweetest, you are ill!” She
kneeled at Eva’s feet, embraced her delicate body, and looked up at
her with swimming eyes. “Let us flee, dear heart, let us flee to our
friends. I knew this land would kill you. Yesterday’s wilderness which
your enchantment transformed into an unreal paradise still guards the
old malevolence of its remote and accursed earth. Arise and smile, dear
one. I shall sit down at the piano and play Schumann, whom you love.
I shall bring you a mirror, that you may behold yourself and see how
beautiful you still are. Who that is so beautiful can be guilty?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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