The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): RuthWassermann, Jakob
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The World's Illusion, Volume 2 (of 2): Ruth
Wassermann, Jakob
German fiction -- Translations into English
The Privy Councillor fell silent. Only a gentle swaying of his trunk
gave evidence that inwardly he was a broken man. Up to this moment
he had nursed a hope; he had not believed in the inevitable. He had
followed a faint beam of light, which had now vanished and left him in
the darkness. His heart crumbled in a vain love for the son who had
faced him with an inevitability which he could not comprehend. And all
that he had conquered in this world--power, wealth, honours, a golden
station in a realm of splendour--suddenly became to him frightfully
meaningless and desolate.
Once more he heard Christian’s clear and gentle voice. “You wanted
to fetter me through my inheritance; you sought to buy me with it. I
came to see that one must escape that snare. One must break even with
the love of those who proclaim: ‘You are ours, our property, and must
continue what we have begun.’ I could not be your heir; I could not
continue what you had begun, so I was in a snare. All whom I knew lived
in delight and all lived in guilt; yet though there was so much guilt,
no one was guilty. There was, in fact, a fundamental mistake in the
whole structure of life. I said to myself: the guilt that arises from
what men do is small and scarcely comparable to the guilt that arises
from what they fail to do. For what kinds of men are those, after
all, who become guilty through their deeds? Poor, wretched, driven,
desperate, half-mad creatures, who lift themselves up and bite the foot
that treads them under. Yet they are made responsible and held guilty
and punished with endless torments. But those who are guilty through
failure in action are spared and are always secure, and have ready and
reasonable subterfuges and excuses; yet they are, so far as I can see,
the true criminals. All evil comes from them. That was the snare I had
to escape.”
The Privy Councillor struggled for an expression of his confused
and painful feelings. It was all so different from anything he had
expected. A human being spoke to him--a man. Words came to him to
which he had to reconcile himself. They held the memory of recent and
unhealed wounds that had been dealt him. Arguments refused to come to
him. It was false and it was true. It depended on one’s attitude--on
one’s measure of imagination and willingness to see, on one’s insight
or fear, on one’s stubbornness or one’s courage to render an accounting
to oneself. The ground which had long been swaying under his feet
seemed suddenly to show huge cracks and fissures. The pride of his
caste still tried in that last moment to raise barricades and search
for weapons, but its power was spent.
Without hope of a favourable answer, he asked: “And do not the bonds of
blood exist for you any longer?”
“When you stand before me and I see you, I feel that they exist,” was
the answer. “When you speak and act, I feel them no longer.”
“Can there be such a thing as an accounting between father and son?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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