But those aspersions of his rankled, especially that about the _Baikal_. Tardy I might be, but it was hardly conceivable that my presence aboard the rocket could have averted the catastrophe. It irritated me; in a way, it made me responsible for the deaths of those unrescued hundreds among the passengers and crew, and I didn't like the thought. Of course, if they'd waited an extra five minutes for me, or if I'd been on time and they'd left on schedule instead of five minutes late, or if--_if_! If! The word called up van Manderpootz and his subjunctivisor--the worlds of "if," the weird, unreal worlds that existed beside reality, neither past nor future, but contemporary, yet extemporal. Somewhere among their ghostly infinities existed one that represented the world that would have been had I made the liner. I had only to call up Haskel van Manderpootz, make an appointment, and then--find out. Yet it wasn't an easy decision. Suppose--just suppose that I found myself responsible--not legally responsible, certainly; there'd be no question of criminal negligence, or anything of that sort--not even morally responsible, because I couldn't possibly have anticipated that my presence or absence could weigh so heavily in the scales of life and death, nor could I have known in which direction the scales would tip. Just--responsible; that was all. Yet I hated to find out. I hated equally not finding out. Uncertainty has its pangs too, quite as painful as those of remorse. It might be less nerve-racking to know myself responsible than to wonder, to waste thoughts in vain doubts and futile reproaches. So I seized the visiphone, dialed the number of the University, and at length gazed on the broad, humorous, intelligent features of van Manderpootz, dragged from a morning lecture by my call. * * * * * I was all but prompt for the appointment the following evening, and might actually have been on time but for an unreasonable traffic officer who insisted on booking me for speeding. At any rate, van Manderpootz was impressed. "Well!" he rumbled. "I almost missed you, Dixon. I was just going over to the club, since I didn't expect you for an hour. You're only ten minutes late." I ignored this. "Professor, I want to use your--uh--your subjunctivisor." "Eh? Oh, yes. You're lucky, then. I was just about to dismantle it." "Dismantle it! Why?" "It has served its purpose. It has given birth to an idea far more important than itself. I shall need the space it occupies." "But what _is_ the idea, if it's not too presumptuous of me to ask?" "It is not too presumptuous. You and the world which awaits it so eagerly may both know, but you hear it from the lips of the author. It is nothing less than the autobiography of van Manderpootz!" He paused impressively. I gaped. "Your autobiography?"