The Worst Joke in the WorldHolding, Elisabeth Sanxay
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The Worst Joke in the World
Holding, Elisabeth Sanxay
Families -- Fiction; Mothers-in-law -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
Side by side they descended the stairs. Mrs. Champney was happy, with
that particular happiness which the companionship of babies brought to
her. She had friends who were made unhappy by the sight of babies.
They said that they couldn’t help looking ahead and imagining the
sorrows in store for the poor little things. But to Mrs. Champney this
seemed morbid and quite stupid, because, when the sorrows came, the
babies would no longer be babies, but grown people, and as well able
as any one else to deal with them.
No—babies were not melancholy objects to Mrs. Champney. On the
contrary, they filled her with a strong and tender delight, because of
her knowledge that whatever troubles came to them, she could surely
help; because, for babies, a kiss is a cure for so much, and a song
can dry so many baby tears; because love, which must so often stand
mute and helpless before grown-up misery, can work such marvels for
little children.
She was happy, then, until she reached the foot of the stairs—and not
again for a long time.
Robert was waiting for them there. He came forward, with a faint
frown, and pushed into place two hairpins that were slipping out of
Molly’s hair. It was the most trifling action, yet it seemed to Mrs.
Champney very significant. He didn’t like to see those hairpins
falling out, didn’t like to see Molly’s lovely, shining hair in
disorder. He noticed things of that sort, and he cared. He cared too
much. There had been a look of annoyance and displeasure on his face
that distressed Mrs. Champney.
Fussiness, she thought, was one of the most deplorable traits a man
could have.
It was only another name for pettiness, and that was something no
member of her family had ever displayed. Could it be possible that
Robert, the most uncompromising and high-minded of all her children,
was developing in that way—and with such a wife as Molly?
She watched her son with growing uneasiness during the course of the
dinner. It was a splendidly cooked dinner. The roast veal was browned
and seasoned to perfection, the mashed potatoes were smooth and light,
there were scalloped tomatoes and a salad of apples and celery, and a
truly admirable lemon meringue pie; but Robert frowned because the
potatoes were in an earthenware bowl, and the plates did not match.
When the splendid pie appeared, in the tin dish in which it had been
baked, he sprang up and carried it out into the kitchen, to return
with it damaged, but lying properly on a respectable dish.
“Oh, I’m awfully sorry, Robert!” Molly said, each time that Robert
found something wrong; and there was such generous contrition in her
honest face that Mrs. Champney wanted to get up and shake her son.
What did those silly little things matter? How could he even see them,
with Molly before his eyes?
“She’s beautiful,” thought Mrs. Champney. “She wouldn’t be beautiful
in a photograph. I suppose she’d look quite plain; but when you’re
with her—when she smiles—it’s like a blessing!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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