The Wrong WomanStewart, Charles D. (Charles David)
General
The Wrong Woman
Stewart, Charles D. (Charles David)
Texas -- Fiction
The man in the case, acting upon the philosophy of Mahomet, gathered up
the lamb and went to the ewe--which would have been more easily done
had the ewe been willing. Having caught her and made her fast by
putting her head between his legs, which made very good stanchions, he
hung the lamb across his palm and set it down carefully on the proper
spot on the prairie; and now, everything being arranged as such things
should be arranged, little Me went straightway to the point, his
underpinning braced outward like the legs of a milking-stool.
With a well-filled stomach, the lamb stared out at the world in
general, and seemed greatly edified. The man was about to let the ewe
go, but hesitated, considering that after she got back among the
multitude it might be quite a while before the lamb would have another
chance. He had better keep her till he had made sure that the lamb
could not hold any more. The lamb grew visibly in gumption; and
finally, after another swig at the bar of life, he was a made lamb. He
actually started to walk. His steps, to be sure, were rather
theoretical and absent-minded, and as he had not yet discovered just
where earth begins and air leaves off, he seemed to be putting his feet
into places that were not there; but considering the dizzy height of
his legs, and the unevenness of this wabbly world, he did as well as
any lamb can do on one dose of milk. Once he seemed to be struck with
the idea of having fun; he gave a frisky twitch to a leg and a sort of
little jump-up in the rear. The man, satisfied with this evidence, let
the ewe go, first taking the precaution to mark her by tying the
handkerchief round her neck.
All of which took but a short while. A lamb, upon arriving, needs a
few moments to take notice that this is the Earth; but he has not much
more than come to a stop when he realizes that it is the place for
refreshments. For this reason, the force of gravity cannot keep a good
lamb down; and as nature has provided him with just enough strength to
rise and partake, the sooner he is about it the better. After a few
draughts from the fount of knowledge his education is complete; and it
is not many days till sheep life is too dull for him and he must lead a
livelier career. Mary's lamb "followed her to school one day," and the
reason he followed her to school was (a fact never before published)
that he thought Mary was his mother. It was a lamb whose mother had
disowned him, leaving the responsibility to Mary. And if there were
any tag-ends or trimmings on Mary's dress, it is safe to say that they
bore evidence of having been in the lamb's mouth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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