The Yale Literary Magazine (Vol. I, No. 2, March 1836)Various
General
The Yale Literary Magazine (Vol. I, No. 2, March 1836)
Various
College students' writings, American -- Connecticut -- New Haven -- Periodicals; Yale University -- Periodicals
fearful energies of a mother’s love! In a paroxysm of mingled grief and
affection, she covered my face with the kisses and tears of an
overflowing heart. But forget not me. What a predicament! Reader, art
thou a bashful man? I ask your sympathy, I claim your advice. What would
_you_ have done? What could _I_ do, but stand, perspiring with the
intensity of my embarrassment—desperately clenching, with both hands, my
hat—bracing my nerves to endurance—my eyes downcast with shame—my face
burning with blushes—modesty personified! When this first outbreaking of
maternal love had subsided, I stood in trembling expectation of its
renewal. I durst not look up, for the eyes of Hope, swimming with
suppressed mirth, at my ludicrous appearance, tortured even my fancy. A
long struggle gave me the requisite courage to cast, from the corner of
my eye, a timid glance towards her. I ventured to hope that the worst
was over. Alas! how delusive! woes come not single. My eye no sooner met
hers, than she—moved by sympathy, or one of the thousand impulses of
passion or caprice which govern the actions of the fair, or something
else, (I am no philosopher,)—rushed towards me, threw her arms
convulsively around my neck, and with kisses and tears did admirable
honor to the maternal example! Could a bashful youth endure this—be
clasped in the arms of her he feared, yet loved—could he experience
this, and survive the shock? I rushed in agony from the room, nor
slackened my career, until I had buried my head in the recesses of my
own solitary chamber.
Poor Hope! poor Hope! she died within a year.
“O! sic semper! sic semper vidi, amatas _spes_ abire.”
* * * * *
Years have rolled away, and the marks of manhood now darken his cheek,
which once kindled under the glance of Hope E——. But the lapse of time
has not—can not—change the peculiarities of his mind; he lived
constantly in Droneville—he never mingled with society, and that
youthful diffidence which maturer years wears off from the minds of
others, was in his deepened into an exquisite sensitiveness, which draws
from the slightest ridicule or neglect materials for self-torture. The
sarcasm which glides from the ears of the giddy—the glance of
indifference or scorn, unfelt by the votary of fashion, gains a lodgment
in his breast, and for weeks, yes, months, preys upon its peace. He
hears the laugh of the incredulous, the sneer of the cynic, the aphorism
of the moralist, but neither, nor all, can drive from its lair this
demon within him,—it is inwrought with the very texture of his soul—it
is a part of its undying essence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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