The yellow book, an illustrated quarterly. Vol. 2, July 1894
General
The yellow book, an illustrated quarterly. Vol. 2, July 1894
English literature -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Great Britain -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
"At the time I remember some man was writing in the paper about the
inferiority of women, and as a proof he said quite truly that there
were no women artists except actresses. He happened to mention one or
two well-known living artists whom I knew personally; they weren't to
be compared with this girl, and they would have been the first to say
so themselves. She had no need to write her novels and symphonies; she
lived them. One would have said a person most wonderfully fitted for
life. Oh, I could go on praising her for ever; except once, I never
fell so completely in love as I did with her. To see her dance and
romp--I hadn't realised before how a great nature can show itself in
everything a person does. It is a joy to think of her.
"One day she came to me, it was twenty years ago, I was a little over
forty, she was just nineteen. She had fallen in love with a boy of her
own age, and was in terrible difficulties with herself. I suppose it
would have been more fitting if I'd given her advice; but I was so
full of pity at the sight of this exquisite nature in torments that I
could only try and comfort her and tell her above all things she
mustn't be oppressed by any sense of her own wickedness; we all had
difficulties of the same kind, and we couldn't expect to do more than
just get along somehow as well as we could. I was angry with Fate that
such a harmonious being had been made to jar with so heavy a strain.
She had been free, and now she was to be confounded and brought to
doubt. I don't think I can express it in words; but I feel as if I
really understood why she killed herself a few days later. She had
come among us, a wonder, ignoring the littlenesses of life, or else
making them worthy by the spirit in which she treated them, and the
first strain of this dragging ordinary affliction bewildered her.
Whether a little more experience would have saved her, or whether it
was a superior flash of insight which prompted her to end her life--at
any rate it wasn't merely unreturned love which oppressed her."
"And what was the man like?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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