The yellow book, an illustrated quarterly. Vol. 3, October, 1894
General
The yellow book, an illustrated quarterly. Vol. 3, October, 1894
English literature -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Great Britain -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
“I’m so glad of that,” she stammered in reply; “so very glad.... And
you’re going away, aren’t you, for a long sea voyage? That will do you
ever so much good----”
But before she had finished speaking, he was kneeling on the carpet
before her, pouring out incoherent phrases. Bewildered, she gazed at
him, only noticing the clumsy breadth of his shoulders.
“Listen to me, Ethel, listen,” he was saying. “Everything is
ready--I’ve given it all up--my living--the Church. I can’t bear it any
longer--life without you, I mean.... You are everything to me--I only
want you--I care for nothing else now. I am going away to Australia.
You will come with me, Ethel--you said you loved me.... We love one
another--come with me--let us start life afresh. I can’t go on living
without you ... I thought it would be easy for you to come; I see now
that perhaps it’s difficult. You have your home: I see that.... But
have trust in me--I will make it up to you. Together we will start
afresh--make a new home--a new life. I will give you every moment; I
will be your slave.... Listen to me, Ethel; let us go away. Everything
is ready--I’ve got money--I’ve arranged everything. We can go up to
London to-morrow. The steamer starts on Thursday.”
The sound of his voice ceased. She was staring at the door, filled with
dread lest it should open, and the maid should see him kneeling on the
carpet.
“Don’t,” she exclaimed, grasping his coat. “Get up, quick.”
He rose, awkwardly she thought, and stood before her.
“We were so happy together once, dear--do you remember--in the first
days, when you promised yourself to me? And now I know that in your
heart you still care for me. You said so. Say you will come--say you
will trust me--you will start to-morrow. If you can’t come so soon
I will wait, wait till you can come,” he added, and she felt the
trembling touch of his hands on hers, and his breath beating on her
face.
“Don’t, please,” and she pushed back his hands. “Some one might see.”
“What does it matter, my darling? We are going to belong to one another
for always. I am going to wait for you, darling--to be your slave--to
give up every moment of my life to you.... It’s the thought of you
that’s made me live, dear.... You brought me back to life, that day you
came.... I’ve thought of nothing but you since. I’ve been arranging it
all----”
“It’s impossible,” she interrupted.
“No, dear, it’s not impossible,” he pleaded.
“You’ve resigned your living--left the Church?” she asked incredulously.
“Yes, everything,” he answered proudly.
“And all because you cared so for me?”
“I can’t begin to live again without you. I would suffer eternal
punishment gladly to win you.... You will trust yourself to me darling;
say you will trust me.”
“Of course, Alec, I trust you. But you’ve no right to----”
“Oh! because you’re married, and it’s a sin, and I’m a clergyman. But
I’m a man first. And for you I’ve given it all up--everything. You
don’t understand my love for you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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