The Yellow Flag: A Novel. Volume 3 (of 3)Yates, Edmund
General
The Yellow Flag: A Novel. Volume 3 (of 3)
Yates, Edmund
Fiction
To protect her, to watch over and tend her! To listen to the
outpourings of her mind, simple and innocent as those of any village
girl, to mould her soft nature and note the growth and development
under his tuition of the common sense and right feeling which were her
undoubted natural gifts. To solace the dead dull level of his daily
life with her sweet companionship; to listen, as he had never hoped to
listen, to words of love addressed to him--to him whose celibate life
had been so long uncheered by fond look or word of affection! Could it
be possible that this girl, of whom, as he recollected with something
like dismay, he had at first conceived so distorted an idea, of whom
he had spoken with so much harshness, and to whom he had so grudgingly
extended the common Christian charity due from him in his position to
any fellow-creature however erring;--could she, by the mysterious
dispensation of Providence, be the one woman reserved as his haven of
rest from the buffets of the world, as the hope and comfort of his
declining days? Could such a blessing come to him? The whisper of his
fate within him seemed to answer, 'No!'
And yet why should such happiness be denied him? However lonely had
been his own life, there were few men who had greater opportunities of
studying the pleasures of domesticity; fewer still more calculated to
enjoy the calm blessings of the married state, all-sufficient,
all-engrossing in themselves. And Alice, what response could she make
to this affection? She was surely heart-whole so far as the present
was concerned; she loved no other man; her affection, such as it
was, was buried in the grave. Such as it was! Yes, the phrase was
harsh-sounding, but true. Communing with himself, Martin Gurwood came
to the conclusion that Alice during her life long had never known what
it was really to love. There could be no doubt, from all he had heard,
from all he had seen, that she had been devoted to John Calverley, but
it was the devotion of a young girl to a man many years her senior--to
a man with whom their disparity of years prevented her having much in
common. The feeling which she had entertained for John Calverley was
respect, gratitude, affection if you will, but it was not love. Even
if it had been, even if those philosophers, according to whose dicta
the first impression made upon a woman's heart by a man, no matter of
what age or position, remains for ever branded and ineffaceable, were
right--if Alice had been devoted to John Calverley in a sense other
than that which he felt inclined to believe--Martin Gurwood
acknowledged that he would be only too glad to take her as she was. He
would accept with infinite thankfulness such a love as she could give
him, and perhaps it would be better so. The dangerous passion which
might have been, he would not ask for, he would not dream of. A quiet
trusting love, such as her gentle nature could feel so truly, could
give so freely, would amply satisfy him; and notwithstanding the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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